---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Monday, January 7, 2013

Hold Your Peace!

A peaceful evening in Morrow County, Eastern Oregon.
"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength." ~ Isaiah 26: 3-4

"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." ~ Exodus 14:14

Hold your peace!

That's a phrase we use when we want to tell someone to "calm down", "get a hold of yourself"...or, simply, "HUSH!"

Surely there was a little bit of that connotation associated with the phrase in chapter 14 of Exodus.  The Israelites had just left Egypt and had found out that Pharaoh was pursuing them.  Instead of trusting God and his miracles thus far, they were freaking out and accusing Moses of leading them out into the wilderness to be murdered by Pharaoh's army.

However, there's another truth we can extract from these words.   

"The LORD will fight for you"...

How does God's method of doing battle differ from ours?

"You shall hold your peace"...

"Hold" = retain, hold on to, don't let go of

How much more peaceful would our lives be if we let God handle those things that rile us up?
The best of relationships will face frustrating times now and then!
Often times, my children will become frustrated with one another---usually it's one of the little ones not "obeying" an older one.  The angered child will try over and over to make the irritating sibling bend to his/her will.  When they finally realize the other is not giving in, there are usually raised voices and resentful attitudes.

I've been training them to try to discuss the issue nicely once.  If that doesn't get the desired result, they're to come to me and let me decide if they should let it go or if I should mediate and help them out.  This makes for a much more peaceful atmosphere in our home.

I think this is what God desires to do with us.  He is willing to mediate our disagreements---and to fight our battles---so we can hold on to our peace.

Since He is the Perfect One---and we are the messed up ones---wouldn't it make sense to let Him?

Hope In Every Season is on Facebook!  If you like what you've read here, please follow me and keep up with the latest posts.


  This article was featured in Issue #96 of The Christian Home magazine.

Linking with: Teach Me Tuesdays @ Growing Home
Titus 2sDays @ The Time Warp Wife 
Women Helping Women @ Teaching What is Good 
Courtship Connection 
Modest Monday @ The Modest Mom 
Encourage One Another @ Deep Roots at Home 
Wednesday linkup @ Wholehearted Home 
Wisdom Wednesday @ Simply Helping Him 
Homemaking Linkup @ Raising Homemakers 
Wise Woman linkup 
Legacy Leaver Thursdays @ Leaving a Legacy 
HomeAcre Hop @ The Self Sufficient HomeAcre 
Matrimonial Monday @ A Proverbs 31 Wife 

Friday, January 4, 2013

My Precious...



"He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." ~ John 12:25
When we have something precious, we tend to hold on to it very tightly---not necessarily because we are selfish, but because we are so afraid to lose it.  What would my life look like if I lost "my precious?"

I know I need to work on my attitude and willingness when it comes to serving others with my life---especially in the area of hospitality.  When the opportunity for serving outside my role as wife and mom comes up, I often look for an excuse to avoid it.  In most cases, this is okay.  My ministry is to my husband and our nine kids---and with 10 people to serve, any other time is pretty limited.  However, God likes to test my heart now and then and I'm not as ashamed as I should be to say that I usually fail.

I think I'm just holding so tightly to "my precious" life that I don't want to share it with anyone.  What if the moments we're spending on other people are the last moments of our life together?  Am I the only one who tries to control every aspect of her life to make it just perfect?

"To whom much is given, much is required." ~ Luke 12:48

I used to think that this verse was just about responsibility.  However, I'm finding out that God wants me to do more with the life he's given me than just manage it responsibly.  He wants me to share the happy times with others, to use it to provide a witness of His goodness and provision, and to "offer hospitality without grumbling." ~ 1 Peter 4:9

Hope In Every Season is on Facebook!  If you like what you've read here, please follow me and keep up with the latest posts.

 

This article was featured in The Christian Home Magazine, Issue 95. 

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Burden of the Blessed Life

Survivor's guilt

Have you ever felt guilty for being blessed in a way that many others aren't?  Perhaps you've experienced a life-threatening situation and came out unscathed, while others suffered less desirable fates.  Maybe you've been healed of a sickness that many are still suffering from.

Many times in life, we find ourselves sitting in the good seats watching, often without any ability to help, while our friends and loved ones walk through very tough times.

This is where I'm finding myself lately.

I've got parents divorcing.  I've got extended family divorcing.  I've got good friends divorcing. Even more heartbreaking, a dear friend just lost a much prayed for baby to miscarriage.

My soul hurts for these people that I love---that I have relationship with---that are going through such a very difficult time.

What can I do to help?  I can't save a marriage...or a baby.  I want to pray.  But have I been?  Not as much as I should be.

To be honest, I'm experiencing wallowing in survivor's guilt.

Of course, everyone's got problems;  but when I look at the petty things I'm walking through right now, in light of what's happening to those around me, I see there's just no comparison.

Out of my 10 pregnancies, I've only lost one to miscarriage.  Losing that baby five years ago was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through---but I've been healed--and I think 1 for 10 is pretty good odds.  The baby I'm currently carrying is, as far as we know, healthy and strong.  So why, instead of thanking God for blessing our children with health, do I feel such guilt that they're healthy?

As for my marriage, Jamie and I just celebrated 14 years!  We've known each other since we were 13 and have been very best friends since we were 16.  We have walked through all kinds of heart breaking situations together.  At times, it's been a really rough road---but we're together.  Neither one of us is going anywhere---nor can we fathom anything that would be big enough to separate us.  Why then, instead of glorying in that, instead of thanking God every day for holding us together, do I harbor such fear that this beautiful bubble that I live in is going to pop any day now?

I feel helpless to offer prayers, advice, encouragement---especially in the situations where my loved ones are, (in some cases) so easily willing to end their marriages.  Marriages that, in each instance, began in a church, asking for God's sustained blessing.  I feel guilty talking about my blissful marriage when these others are having such a hard time.  I feel guilty sharing happy milestones of my pregnancy when one of my dearest friends is mourning the loss of her own.

Can a person who is living the blessed life really imagine themselves in the shoes of their hurting loved ones?  I say yes.  Absolutely.

The reason it's called survivor's guilt is because those who feel it are the ones who've survived.  We've spent time in the same den of lions but somehow, by the grace of God, we've come out in tact.  However, unlike the Biblical Daniel, who came out of the lion's den untouched, we survivors have not come out without scars. 

SO many people tell me that I have the perfect life.  Many see me as having a perfect marriage. Perfect children.  They say I am doing everything right to ensure a "til death do us part" marriage and children who grow into godly, law-abiding adults.  As flattering as that is, it's not true.  Nothing, outside of God and his plan, is perfect.  As much as I desire those wonderful outcomes, I'm human---as is the rest of my family---and we all make mistakes that tarnish our lives and leave scars.

The reason that people probably see me this way is that I don't share my personal problems publicly.  When I have issues with my husband or kids, I go to them.  Not to Facebook.  Very rarely do I share a personal issue with my own mother---other than that, there's no one that hears our private junk.  I am, however, very quick to praise my husband or brag on my kids.  I want others to see them in the best light possible.  Would I want my husband or kids broadcasting my flaws outside these four walls?

The problem with all of this, and the burden of the blessed life, is that others think I can't relate.  They think I have this "perfect life" because I have steered away from every possible sinful thing out there.  They think that devastating circumstances have passed me by.

The truth of that matter is very far from this thinking.  I am very much able to offer support, advice, sympathy.  I can very much relate because I have survived.  More than that, I've been healed of the hurt that many of my loved ones are experiencing right now.

I remember the devastation, self-blame, anger, and fear that come with the loss of a child.

I know the feelings of confusion, hard-heartedness, and inadequacy that follow a betrayal.

I have thought the grass was greener in someone else's pasture and have even tested the theory to find it sorely lacking in substance.  More than once.

I recognize the scary cycles of an addiction that seems impossible to overcome.  I'm still cycling.

I've experienced a depression so deep that leaving my family or even ending my life seemed like very logical answers.  Several years of it, in fact.

Many people think that those who are living the "good life" are unable to be of any assistance to them when they're going through tough times.  They think that we live in some la-la land and can't relate.  They're sick of hearing, "well, just trust God and it'll all work out fine."  (In reality, we should all definitely trust God---but that doesn't mean it's all going to work out fine.  Sometimes it all falls apart and it really sucks...but he's still worthy of our trust.)

While there are many who will read this and either relate to where I'm coming from or will roll their eyes and say, "she has NO idea", what I really want is for those who know me to read it and understand something.  I can relate.  I want to help you. 

When you're going through hard stuff, don't be so quick to make assumptions about the people around you who want to help.  There's a reason they've survived and their survival skills might be just what you need.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Awake O Sleeper


Proverbs 19:15:  "Laziness casts one into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger."

I've been slowly reading through the Proverbs since August (yep, THAT slow!).  I want to really take in and process what each one is saying.  I want to get these truths into my heart, so I've been reading and journaling about almost every one of them.

Sometimes I really have to think on one of them to get the full effect.  This was one of those that caused me to stop and ponder the depths of the message.

How has laziness cast me into a deep sleep?  I know this doesn't happen in the literal sense, not for me anyway.  With 8 children aged 12 to infant, I don't get much sleep at all---and I don't think I've slept deeply since I was about 19 years old!

However, laziness has caused me to be "asleep" to some things that are going on around me.  It has caused me to be in denial about certain parts of my life that need attention.  Laziness keeps me from seeing things that need to be done and changes that need to be made.  These can be things as simple as household chores, or as important as correcting my children's behavior.  It is sometimes so much easier to just let the laundry pile up (either dirty in the basket or clean on the dresser) or let the kid's bad attitude go unchecked than it is to put the effort into fixing the problem.  I am ignoring the problem and I'm ignoring the future consequences that I know this laziness will bring.  What kind of example is this to my children and other people in my life over whom I have influence?  What kind of legacy am I leaving?

Pretty soon, my laziness turns into apathy.  I just don't care anymore.  I settle in my ways and am asleep to, and ignorant of, how much better life would be if I'd be proactive.

How will I suffer hunger from being idle?  To figure this one out, I need to think about what sorts of things I'm hungry for.  Here are a few big ones on my list:

*A more regular Bible study time
*A happy and peaceful attitude
*A healthy and fit body
*An organized home
*A more consistent homeschooling schedule

Every one of these things is not being accomplished in my life the way it could be because of idleness.  I become slothful and the apathy creeps in.  Often times, it's easier to stay in the place that I am than it is to step out and change.
However, God doesn’t want me in this place of idleness and apathy!   Instinctively, I know this---but this can be such a hard habit to break free from.   When I imagine what God says to me in this place, I remember Ephesians 5:14: “Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” 

Just a few verses before that, I’m encouraged to walk as a child of the light and to find out what is acceptable to the Lord (v. 8-10).  How else can I do this but to dig deep into His word and to spend time in prayer, calling on Him for help?

Looking back to my list of things I’m hungry for:  we’ve all been taught that God wants us to spend time in His word.  We know that he desires for us to have joy and peace in our life.  But, did you know that it matters to God whether or not my home is organized and my homeschool runs smoothly and my body is healthy and fit?  He knows the calm and contentedness that these things will bring to my life.  God really does care about these things that we often think he’s too busy to deal with!

Ephesians gives us some practical steps to start and continue walking as children of the light.  Verse 16 encourages us to “be wise and redeem the time.”  I love what Matthew Henry says in his Commentary about this phrase.  I know this is a little long but stick with me---it’s good stuff:

redeeming the time (v. 16), literally, buying the opportunity. It is a metaphor taken from merchants and traders who diligently observe and improve the seasons for merchandise and trade. It is a great part of Christian wisdom to redeem the time. Good Christians must be good husbands of their time, and take care to improve it to the best of purposes, by watching against temptations, by doing good while it is in the power of their hands, and by filling it up with proper employment—one special preservative from sin. They should make the best use they can of the present seasons of grace. Our time is a talent given us by God for some good end, and it is misspent and lost when it is not employed according to his design. If we have lost our time heretofore, we must endeavour to redeem it by doubling our diligence in doing our duty for the future.”

How encouraging is that!  Our time is a talent given us by God.  What a great measuring stick by which to check ourselves and evaluate our days.  In another part of this section of commentary, Henry talks about the Christians who would “stir up themselves to their duty.”  I don’t know about you, but this encouragement makes me want to get up and buzz around this house, cleaning and singing and hugging my children! It motivates me and makes me want to kick laziness and apathy out the door!

It’s true that “the days are evil” as verse 5:16 goes on to say---they’re also short and time gets away from us faster than we’d like.  As Henry encourages, let’s all “endeavour to redeem it by doubling our diligence in doing our duty for the future.”  Think of the amazing legacies we could leave!

This post was featured in Issue #55 of The Christian Home magazine.


Linking with:  
L.A.C.E.  Wednesdays
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Thursday, January 26, 2012

When Mommy Gets Sick --- Homemaking Link-Up Weekend

Part of good homemaking involves delegation and training.  Delegating (and rotating) chores so children can learn them, and training children in the proper way to do household tasks, really pays off on days like today!

I woke up early this morning to a full blown case of the flu!  It's going on 16 hours now and I'm still feeling lousy!


What a blessing and a relief I felt when my husband said, "stay in bed---we'll handle it!"  I'm so thankful for my sweet kids who were so willing to help Dad pick up my slack.

My sweet husband had to leave for a couple hours to go pick up the company laptop so he could work from home tonight and take care of things.  He even stopped by the store to grab me 7up, ice cream and chicken noodle soup!

Now that I think about it, being sick does have it's benefits!

Would you like to participate in the party each week but just can't remember to link up?  There's a couple things I can do to help you out with that!  First, there's a cute button at the top of my sidebar that you can put on your blog to serve as a reminder for you---and an advertisement for me!  Secondly, I can send you an email reminder!  I send out a short email to participants who've requested one on Wednesday nights to remind everyone about the party.  Please let me know in the comments below if you'd like me to do that for you!

I'd love to have you link up your homemaking posts below!  Hope you have a GREAT weekend!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Peaceful Changes

A few days ago, I blogged about my New Year's Resolutions.  I told you how my main goal this year is to not do things that I don't want to do.  Of course, we all know that this is an impossible task, but let me clarify:

I, like most well-meaning women, have a tendency to take on way too much more than I can handle.  In my effort to do all the things I think God wants me to do, I end up doing a lot of things that he doesn't want me to do and I put off the things that he really does want me to do.  (Does this remind anyone of a Bible passage?  Romans 7:15, perhaps?)

This year, I'm resolving to stick to the plan:  God's plan.

God has created me to be a wife and a mother.  He has called me to homemaking and homeschooling.  He is encouraging me to prepare healthy meals for my family, to keep my home clean and beautiful, and to use the knowledge, creativity, and talents that he has given me to bless my husband and children.

God usually uses the Godly people in our lives to help encourage us in our walk with Him.  I have been blessed to find Godly counsel right here in my own home.  First and foremost, my husband is more than happy to help me find direction and steer me clear of things that would distract me from God's priorities for me.  Just yesterday he helped me out of an overwhelming task that I had taken on without first consulting neither the Lord nor him.

Secondly, God has led me to some very inspiring bloggers who have been springboards for positive changes.  You will see some of them listed on my sidebar under "Blogs That Inspire Me to Greatness".

Mrs. Jennie Chancey of Sense and Sensibility Patterns gave me the idea to honor my marriage by using my married "title", Mrs. Sarah Coller.  Another thing I did to honor my husband's name was to buy napkins monogrammed with a letter C at Christmas time.

This morning, I read a post by Darlene of Time-Warp Wife on boosting self-discipline.  One really great tip that I implemented today with great success, was to put a notepad and pen in my apron pocket for writing down notes throughout the day.  It really helped me not to stress out this morning as I came across things I keep forgetting to do---I just wrote them down and put them out of my mind!  My husband said this would serve to help me not get distracted as well.  I can continue with the task I'm on and just make a note to do the "distraction" later.

A third blog is my most favorite blog of all, The Legacy of Home.  I value that blog so much that I've made it my homepage!  Just about every morning, I wake up to Mrs. White's encouraging wisdom regarding running the kind of home that I desire and being the wife and mother that I want to be.  I've taken a couple of her ideas for making my kitchen a place that I desire to work in.  I recently rearranged my counters to make room for a pretty little lamp that I turn on in the evenings while I'm doing my kitchen work.  I also asked my husband for, (and received!) a kitchen stereo for Christmas.  Now I can listen to uplifting or soothing music while going about my kitchen responsibilities.  It's getting to be a really relaxing place to be!  Next, I'm going to make pretty tags for my canisters from the Victorian paper that Jamie got me for Christmas.  Then I want to paint the antique dresser that I've got in there that is holding my aprons and other kitchen supplies.  I even saw a blog recently where a girl had tole painted her microwave!  Hmmm.....maybe!

A final change that is blessing our family is the changes we're making to our diet.  My friend, Krystal from A Blessed Journey has been posting about some of the nutritious things she's been making her family and it's inspired us to get healthily creative in the kitchen too!

I hope you'll take the time to check out some of these blogs that I've mentioned here.  Maybe you'll be inspired too!

I'm praying God's blessings on you and your family today!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Happy Week!

It's been a happy week here at the Coller house!  Jamie and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on Monday!

He brought me home 18 of these gorgeous PINK roses that smell soooo wonderful!
I made us all a cake with our wedding topper.  We had hamburgers for dinner and shared our cake with the kids for dessert!  They all made us pictures and Lynzie painted us each a small painting.
Later in the week, I made Lynzie this pretty dress.  She has been saving her own money for several months now for a Revolutionary War era costume.  She ordered her own shoes and stockings and helped pay for some of the fabric for her dress.
Here's Lynzie showing off her buckle shoes! We still need to make her a lace shawl and mob cap but she's feeling pretty cute in her new outfit!
 Jamie will be home from work in a couple hours and then my weekend begins!  I plan to work on baby announcements all weekend and just generally be crafty!  Baby's due in 3 weeks!

Linking up today with Beverly's Pink Saturday!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"Mom, When Can I Get Married?" Part One

Lynzie has just turned 11 and has begun asking questions about marriage.  She wants to know how old she has to be before she can get married.  I keep answering, "It's not an age, it's a level of readiness."  I've told her she must be done with her basic schooling (through high school level), she must be prepared to manage a home and a budget, she must have basic knowledge of childcare.  I've also talked to her about the readiness of her husband-to-be:  he needs to have a job that will support their basic needs, must be able to provide a reliable means of getting them where they need to go, etc.  

Today I became aware that she's already got a man in mind!  From what I've seen, this young man shows promise---he reminds me of my husband, for starters!  It occurred to me today that I've not really talked to her about spiritual readiness---the most important part of being married!  So, we went on to discuss how important it is that she pray for her future husband---in a general sense.  I encouraged her not to pray for this specific boy in a way that indicated she was set on him, but instead to pray for "whomever God has planned" for her.   I encouraged her to focus on having a good friendship with the boy but not to think of him as her future spouse---at least not yet!  Wow, I totally can't believe I'm having this conversation with her already!

So, with all that in mind, I realized I really need to get into the Word and see what all God has to say about a wife.   I've only been one for 13 years so I've got a lot to learn myself---and here I am already needing to train my daughter.  Whew!

Genesis 2:24:  "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

A wife needs to be prepared to become one with her husband.  This requires coming out from under the protection and discipline of her parents and coming under the protection of her husband, standing beside him as his helper, comforter, lover and support, and taking the lead role in homemaking and mothering responsibilities.  A wife should be prepared to make decisions alongside her husband and to consider his desires, preferences and feelings when making choices regarding areas in which he has given her responsibility.  

Part of being one with one's husband is working as a team and making compromises and concessions where needed.  One thing I always try to practice in my marriage is the truth that if my priority is always my husband and his priority is always me, then both of us are taken care of and neither finds themselves being selfish.

While it's always ideal that the new couple's parents agree and support this "leaving and cleaving", that is, unfortunately, not always the case.  The new wife, as well as her husband, should be prepared and mature enough to respectfully remind the offending parents of this verse and be in agreement that their parents won't be allowed to become stumbling blocks in the early days of marriage.

While a loving parent is almost always full of valuable wisdom that a newlywed can surely learn from, it's important that the new husband and wife make final decisions on their own, based on what they have heard from God and what they believe is right for their own situation.

Someone remind my controlling self of this in another 7 or 8 years, please?  Ha!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

There is SOMETHING new under the sun!!

I am taking an History of Christianity class this term and am thoroughly enjoying it! It helps that I'm an enthusiastic debater and the professor requires us to respond to one another's writings! Ha! Tonight, one guy posted a question that went pretty much like this:

The ministry of Jesus was about inclusiveness, peace, and love. His main group consisted of men but many of his followers were women and he did not discriminate against anyone.
Women of less reputable status, such as Mary Magdalene, are mentioned as well as his mother. After his death, the new church became an "exclusively male dominated one and women were denigrated to a subservient role. So my question becomes why did the followers of Jesus, who must have seen their leaders treatment of women decide to place them in this role? Why has it remained to be this way in many denominations of Christianity?"



Here was my response:

I think the question that needs to be asked is: are we interpreting the entire historical past based on the "rights" women think they have been entitled to in just the last 80 years or so? Just because a group of feminists that are only as old as Grandma say that women should have absolutely equal status with men in all things doesn't make it true, nor does it make it what God intends for us.

It is my assumption that women were placed under the leadership of men within the church because that is also the way it was in society. Jesus treated women the way He did because He was setting an example of how
people should be treated---not because He was trying to abolish the headship of the men in family, church and other situations. If Jesus had wanted women to take places of leadership over men, He likely would have modeled this by taking on some women in His core group of disciples or placed a woman in charge of his mother just before he died (rather than John---see John 19:26-27). It is only lately that women have got the impression that they are somehow being cheated by the church. Since the beginning of time, I am of the understanding that most Godly women were content to serve as faithful helpers and wise counselors to their fathers and husbands. Proverbs 31 spells out the characteristics of the "virtuous woman" and this used to be the standard for a woman to strive to achieve. It is not against Jesus' message of "inclusiveness, love and peace" for women to serve under the authority of their husbands or fathers.

There are several examples in the New Testament of women being recognized by the newborn Church. Lydia, a founding mother of the Christian church in Europe, lived in Philippi and opened her home as a "home church". When Paul and his group showed up, they were offered a place to stay---a risky and brave act on her part. (Act 16) Acts 18 speaks of Priscilla, the wife of Aquila, who ministered alongside her husband and opened her home with an attitude of Godly hospitality. The Old Testament is full of women who changed history with their faithfulness to God and their husbands: Hannah, Rachel, Rahab... The only Godly woman in the Bible that I can think of who took a leadership role over a man was Deborah and she said so herself that it would be accounted to him as shame. (Judges 4:9)


God's desire for men and women to walk out specific roles is all throughout the Bible. Even at the very beginning of the Bible, God makes their roles evident by putting curses on the specific things that they were "in charge of". Today's society sees these roles as a man domineering over his "subservient" wife. In fact, this is rarely the case. Men are given the
responsibility of taking care of their wives and women are given the protection of their husbands. If this is not the way society is functioning then it's because society has chosen to walk off of God's path. If these roles have survived to this day in any denominations of Christianity, it's because people realize that it's a peaceful way to live and it's the way the Bible says God designed it. When lived the way God intended---with a wife respecting her husband and a husband loving his wife (see Ephesians 5)---this can be a very peaceful and fulfilling life for the whole family.

Also, this doesn't really apply to your question but it applies to my answer: I would encourage anyone who's interested to really read about Mary Magdalene before assuming she was a woman of "less reputable status". There is no basis at all in Scripture for her being a former prostitute as many have implied throughout history. The only mention of her former sinful nature is in Luke 8:2, "Mary called Magdalene, out of whom had come seven demons." Many link her up with the prostitute in John 8 whom Jesus "rescues" from stoning. It makes for good romance that Jesus would rescue her and then invite her along for the journey. In fact, He sends that woman off to "go and sin no more". Just because Mary Magdalene was healed of demon possession doesn't mean she was a prostitute. I can think of seven demons in my own life right now---gluttony, fear, coveting, worry, unforgiveness, laziness, judgmental attitude---and I'm as straight-laced as they come! I am mentioning this because it shows something we are all guilty of.

The point that I was trying to make to this guy is that if we bring to this class all our preconceived ideas and thoughts of what so-and-so said, it could block us from learning what history really does tell us about Christianity. We wouldn't form assumptions about science or math---we would search for the most accurate answers. Studying God's word should be a challenge to ourselves to find out what it really has to say---even if we don't like what we find out!


All Scripture taken from:

New King James Version
. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2001.

Friday, August 6, 2010

This Article Will Feed Your Addiction.


It has occurred to me lately that I have an Internet addiction. My husband has teased me about it for a couple of years now---but I think there's really a problem here and I intend to fix it.

In preparation for this article, I did a little research into Internet addiction. I found that in 1995, the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery was formed, as an alarming trend had begun to emerge of people involved in compulsive surfing, Internet gambling, Internet gaming, and Internet affairs. There are actual treatment centers all over the US and abroad that serve to treat those suffering from Internet addiction. Wow.

Many people who wouldn't think of picking up a dangerous drug or alcohol habit would be offended if they were told they had an Internet addiction. What defines an addiction anyway? According to www.netaddiction.com, meeting five of the following symptoms would make you a candidate for diagnosis:

1. Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet (think about previous online activity or anticipate next online session)?

2. Do you feel the need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction?

3. Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop Internet use?

4. Do you feel restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use?

5. Do you stay online longer than originally intended?

6. Have you jeopardized or risked the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?

7. Have you lied to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet?

8. Do you use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)?

Personally, I'd say just one of those is an indication that you might be taking things a little too far...

I've been thinking about why I might find myself turning to the Internet for entertainment/distraction/avoidance. I think the main thing that is drawing me lately is FarmVille on Facebook. My brother, a game designer for EA Salt Lake, says that these types of games are designed to build an addiction fast. They start out by rewarding the player for every small accomplishment but, over time, it takes longer and longer to achieve a similar result and accomplishment. Others have realized the addictive nature of the game as evidenced on the Facebook page, How To Quit FarmVille!!

I think it's that sense of accomplishment that draws me to FarmVille. I told a friend the other day, only half-joking: "It's pretty bad when my house is trashed but my farm looks great!" Now, I wouldn't say my house is necessarily trashed, but there are definitely areas of the house that I never seem to "have the time to get to". The sense of accomplishment after housework is short-lived around my place. Even though the kids have all been trained to pick up after themselves, a house inhabiting nine people is bound to avoid spotlessness! My farm, however, is a place that is orderly and peaceful all the time---and I did it all by myself!

Recently, a fellow Facebooker and distant relative (whom I've not yet met) took a Facebook quiz about me. The question was, "Do you think Sarah spends more than eight hours a day online?" His answer was, "Of course not. She is a good mommy." Wow.

Because of the huge amount of guilt that washes over me when I read that, let me preface this next part by reminding myself that I am a good mommy. Anyone who knows me will agree. However, does my time online interfere with the kind of mommy I want to be? Absolutely.

I'm ashamed to say that it's very possible that I do spend eight accumulated hours online on some days. I usually feed my newborn in front of the computer, but if his feeding is done and I'm not, then I tend to stay longer. He eats every two hours right now so that time definitely adds up fast! It is summer though so I just keep telling myself that the kids are on summer break and have lots of free time so I'm just giving myself the same...ha! Still, I feel guilty...there's so much more we could be doing.

I'm not going to beat myself up about it...I'm just going to make some changes. First thing that is going is FarmVille. Just the thought that someone designed it to be ultra addicting ticks me off and makes me want to boycott it out of spite! There are so many other things I'd like to be doing online. For instance, I'd like to continue my ancestry research on Ancestry.com. I would also like to write in my blog more, as well as read the articles others have written in theirs. I'd like to craft, sew, and scrapbook more. I want to take on some DIYs and beautify my house. I want to learn to play my guitar, Celtic harp and cello. I'll also be starting back to school this fall online.

All of those things will feed my creative soul and bring a sense of accomplishment---and we'll ALL be better for it!


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I Bought My Husband Ecstasy For Christmas



Well, it's been a really interesting month as our family has settled into our new home in the Pacific Northwest. At the beginning of January, my husband was transferred to the town of Mount Vernon, Washington---just north of Seattle. There have been many new things that I've had to become used to---several funny stories that I will write about soon. However, today's incident tops them all.

Early this morning, after my husband left for work, I was picking up the living room a little when I discovered a round, white pill on the floor near the entryway. Upon examination, I found that it had a tulip design stamped into both sides and it was about the size of an M&M. I wondered if it had just gotten tracked in as my husband works in a big mall and could have got it caught in the tread of his work shoes. But then again I thought, his shoes are flat on the bottom. Then I remembered a few months ago when a co-worker had sent him home with some sort of calcium-citrus tablets that were supposed to be helpful for alleviating cold symptoms. "Perhaps it's just something he got from a co-worker," I reasoned, "for headaches or something". I was trying to get started on the kids' school work for the day so I just set it up on the bookshelf to ask him about later.

Later this afternoon, I was just dingin' around waiting to start dinner and had a few minutes to do a little research on the mysterious pill. I Googled "white pill tulip" and was shocked to find page after page on the drug, Ecstasy!!!

One page had a picture of the EXACT pill I had sitting here---just with a slightly bluer tint to it. As I read through the different sites, the information given seemed to indicate that the "manufacturers" of these pills put different stamps on them--sometimes they can serve as an indicator of what is in the pill and other times they can indicate the location from which the pill was obtained.


This little bit of information FREAKED ME OUT!! You see, we've moved to an area that has been deemed one of the great tulip capitols of the world!! Mount Vernon hosts an annual tulip festival in April and is even home to the 2010 World Tulip Summit! What better logo for a local ecstasy pill than a happy little tulip!


As I continued my research, I found that many Ecstasy pills will have a slight mint smell to them. As my heart raced with the fear of discovering the obvious truth of what this little pill inevitably would turn out to be, I picked it up and gave it a sniff.


Sure enough! This horrible little intrusion to my happy, Christian home had a very distinct smell---Vanilla Mint!!


The idea that my husband had accidentally tracked it in was immediately thrown out---I was furious! Surely someone at work was playing a joke on him! The scenario began to play through my head. I pictured my poor, hard-working husband developing one of his regular migraine headaches and asking his co-workers if anyone had something he could take for the pain. I could see these slick and scheming city guys chuckling in the corner of the kiosk---"let's play a joke on the new country boy!" One of them slyly pulling out part of his clubbing stash and offering it to my naive and unsuspecting husband. Thank God, I thought, that he intervened and kept Jamie from actually taking it!!!!


Relief mixed with the fear of what "could have been" began to settle me down a little and I set the pill on top of my desk so I could make sure and educate him when he got home on the dangers of taking unknown drugs. I planned to show him all the sites I'd found and talk to him about how important it is that we remember: we're not in Eastern Oregon anymore. There are DANGERS here!!!


I headed to the kitchen to make dinner, determined not to dwell on the possible horrible scenarios that could have taken place had one of the kids gotten a hold of it. I really wanted to sit and write in my blog tonight and didn't want this worry hampering my creative thoughts from flowing.


Suddenly, out of nowhere, the realization of what was really going on hit me. Co-workers, I thought. I remembered that last Sunday night, my husband had gone to a friends' house to practice medieval sword-fighting. A CO-WORKER friend. When he came home that night, he had explained to me the reason why he was a little late---the friend had given him a couple extra lessons since he wouldn't be available to teach this coming week.


There has to be more to this, I thought. My husband isn't naive. In the twelve years we'd been together, we'd switched character traits as he went out into the world to work and I stayed home with the kids. He knows a lot more about this world than I do...surely he'd recognize a drug for what it is. Panicking, I texted him: "You need to take a break and call me NOW!!!" For the next hour and a half I couldn't think straight. I just sat here at my computer Googling and Googling. I began planning the trip to my mom's that the kids and I would have to take to give my husband time to "think about" this new lifestyle and whether it was really worth it. I considered going through and deleting all my searches on Ecstasy as they would only prove incriminating when he was busted for drugs. No way, I thought, the jerk deserves it.


I went back to the computer and picked up the pill, examining it very closely. A small little twinkling of hope was nagging to get through my thoughts of a shattered life and a destroyed family. There's a stem, I observed. A stem with two leaves and a top petal-sort-of-thingy. However, a real close look at the devilish device made me aware of something I really hadn't noticed before. The leaves were sort of jagged along the edges. And the petals---they were sort of jagged too---and really rather leaf-shaped. Really, the more I looked at the thing, the more it looked like the image of a cluster of mint leaves.


Actually, this image does seem sort of familiar, I thought. Just then, the phone rang---it was my husband.


"Umm...did you maybe happen to drop one of your mints this morning?"

"No," he answered.

*Blink*, there went that little twinkling of hope.


"Why?" he asked.

"Well," I continued, "What do they look like?"

"Round," he answered, "Why?"

Ignoring his question: "And sort of the size of an M&M?"

"Yes."

"And do they have something stamped on them?"

"Yeah...like a mint leaf. Why?" By this time he was getting really irritated with my obviously interrogating tone.

"Yeah, but does it look sorta like a tulip?" I asked, desperately.

"Yeah, I guess. WHY? Oh wait," he said, realization dawning on him, "did you find it in the bedroom?"

"No, by the front door."

"Oh, ok well I had dropped one in the bedroom while I was getting ready for work and couldn't find it on the floor anywhere. It must have fallen in the cuff of my pants and then onto the floor later on. I'll show you what they look like when I get home. I promise, I'm not turning into a druggie!"


Finally, it dawned on me where I'd seen that little "tulip" stamp before. It was on the tin of Starbucks mints that I'd put in his stocking a couple months ago for Christmas.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...