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Wednesday, April 3, 2019

I Miss Blogging...and Other Mixed Up Thoughts of the Day


How do you feel about change? Some people love it when the old goes out and the new comes in. My husband is like that. He's always ready to jump into the next technological advancement and he's great when it comes to trying new things.

Me, not so much. The Beatles and the Bible tell us there's a time for everything and that circumstances change, but that doesn't mean I have to like it! If there's one thing I've learned about change though, it's that life would get pretty stagnant without it.

My life started going a different direction a couple years ago and part of that was reflected on this blog. I used to post several times a week and was working with many big name brands. But, you know, that started to get really tedious and pretty soon I'd lost my voice as a blogger. More and more, I had to be the person the brands wanted me to be, and the blog wasn't really mine anymore. I decided to let that go and my plan was to go back to blogging about Jesus and antiques, but that hasn't really happened, has it? I've struggled with bouncing back from that change.

Deeper things have gone on in these two years---things that are big enough to actually require a grieving process. Many of you know we lost a baby in October. I'm about six weeks from the due date of that baby and life is getting reeeeally tough to handle as that time draws closer. I'm ok. I'm getting through it with the love and support of my husband and kids and a couple close friends, but I've got to lean in to feelings of anger, jealousy, and so much sadness, that I don't really want to face.

Happy changes can still bring a time of mourning. That's a new concept to me, but it's so true. Lynzie graduated last April---almost a year ago---and I've been struggling to keep the joy in our homeschool. I'll write more on that later---that one needs a whole post of it's own---but the grief I'm dealing with, even with her still at home, sort of blindsided me.

I'm taking on some new ministry responsibilities in my church---which has brought up some questions for me about identity and callings. While I'm excited about what's ahead, there are some identity things I have to lay down in order to take this road God's got me on...and that's hard.

Why am I writing out these disjointed thoughts? I used to share heart stuff here, back in the days before the sponsored posts took over my life, and I'd like to get back to that. I miss my blogging friends and community. I feel God bringing something new to this blog. I'm looking forward to seeing what it is!

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21 comments:

  1. Sarah, I am so sorry about your terrible loss. May Jesus hold you close as you walk through these days of grief. He is the God of ALL comfort. I hope you find direction concerning the future of your blog. Praying for you.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers! You have always been such a sweet friend to me. I appreciate you!

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  2. Sarah, I think many people don't understand the loss of an unborn child so wouldn't be sensitive to your ongoing grieving process including milestone dates and the due date, but continue to "lean into" those feelings and you'll get through. Change is indeed hard for many of us, but you've got a lot of grit, so you'll be just fine. Here's a link to a blogger who recently discussed the sponsored posts problem, https://debbie-dabbleblog.blogspot.com/. Wishing you all the best.

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    1. Be well dear - you give much so much will be given to you. It is nice to see a blog that has not sold its soul. I always enjoy visiting here and I know others do too.
      Best wishes, Mimi
      https://inmyprimetime.blogspot.com

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    2. Thank you both so so much. It blesses me to see some long time blogging friends giving me kind encouragement! I'm getting really really excited to get back to blogging!!

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  3. Oh, heavens, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. What a sadness. And you've been through a lot of changes as well. Perhaps this blogging home will give you the opportunity to sort through all the competing thoughts on vocation and help you to discern the will of God in it all.
    Thanks for sharing your story with such courage here.

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    1. Thank you, friend! There are so many things to be happy about and thankful for! But...it's also ok to have a season of sadness mixed in.

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  4. I have been following your blog for a while and love it! Don't stress if you can't post as often! I now only post on my own blog about once a month. Do what you love when you can. We'll all still be here for you. . . even if it is not as often. Hugs!

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  5. Dear Sarah,
    I'm glad you're refining and defining. The grief is real. My friend and I were pregnant at the same time three times in a row. The fourth time, she had a baby, and I had a hysterectomy—the same month that my baby would have been born if I'd followed the pattern we had going. I struggled with grief during that time. I can only imagine what you're feeling.
    I also have struggled as each child graduated. My girls are still at home, and I still have one more year with Amy..
    I'm glad you have family that is supportive. Try not to get involved in too much and add stress to your life. Your first ministry is to hubby and children, but you already know that and pour yourself and your life into them.
    God bless you dearie! Hope to find time together soon.
    Your friend up north,
    Laura

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    1. Thank you, sweet friend!! I miss you! Yes, I'm finding that I feel very peaceful about committing to home and church. Everything else outside of that feels crazy...!!! Ha!

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  6. Sarah,
    I removed the first comment because I needed to do a serious spell check.... LOL!! Here we go again.....
    My dear Sarah,
    I have linked up to your party and will continue to do so weekly....Thanks so much for stopping by and for sharing your experience with sponsorship. It was a totally different take and one not mentioned by the other bloggers that responded. I would love to use your response in another follow up post on blogging, if I may???? I am so sorry for your loss......I can understand how you feel as I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy and my son and new daughter-in-law recently also suffered the loss of a pregnancy....It was her first, no heart beat heard at 8 weeks....It was very hard for them but they are going to try again.... sending prayers your way that you learn to some how handle your loss....I came to look at mine that God just wanted that child back... It was good to hear from you and thank you also for your kind words.....
    Hugs,
    Deb

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    1. Thank you!! Your visit and your comment really means a lot to me. You are one of the bloggers and homemakers that I've always really respected. Yes, please feel free to use any of my blogging story in posts of your own. I have several friends who still blog for pay and it really does help to support their families---it's especially a blessing for single moms with kids as they're able to work from home and be available for their children. I'm happy that it's something I can someday fall back on---but I'm VERY happy that I don't have to do it right now because it's truly not in my heart to do sponsored posts anymore. I just wanna talk about Jesus and antiques! Ha! Also, thank you for your kind words and perspective on the loss of our babies. We will be reunited one day!

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  7. Welcome Back!!! You were missed - and don't worry about us. We love you and look forward to your posts. You've been in my prayers because I've had a miscarriage, too.

    I can't relate to the graduation thing, though. I was SO happy that they met their goals. One daughter left home right away, and the other stayed all through college. I reared them for 27 years, so I was ready for the empty nest. THAT was the hard part -- after nurturing and caring for her for so long (she left at 21), it was a strange feeling for sure. But, I filled that time up pretty quick. Life is like that. I was finally able to do the things I'd been wanting to do for 27 years!!

    One question about the link-up - Linky is asking me to sign in. I never have been asked that before. What's up with that?

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    1. Thank you for your prayers!! Hmmm...I'm not sure about the linky thing. This is the first time I've used it since they changed over to the new site. Are you able to sign in and link up or is it not allowing that? Weird. I will look into it when I get a chance.

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. The blogging world has seem to have changed so much. I miss my little community.

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  9. Sarah,
    I also linked up my post that I did about blogging...
    Hugs,
    Deb

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  10. Oh dear Sarah, I'm so sorry, but losing an unborn child must be very sad. My two daughters had miscarriages and both suffered, specially my eldest daughter; as she was hopping for her second child immediately after her first, but sadly it didn't happen.
    Thank you for having the party up for us this week.
    May God bless you Sarah dear.
    Fabby

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  11. You wrote my own heart today... if you need mutual support, shoot me an email. I'm down to my youngest left in school, I thought the year would be fabulous but it has been full of challenges. Getting back to the heart of things is always a good place to go... and most often puts us right in the center of where God wants us to be. I will be praying for you, especially as you approach that most difficult day.

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  12. Please keep sharing your thoughts. Don't worry what the world does in the blog world. Keep it simple like so much of the Christian life is. I enjoy the beauty of your blog and the encouragement to just embrace the life of womanhood in all it's wonder. Changes are so hard. Praying you keep sharing and that it helps.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! I read each one of them and love to respond back to those who visit! Please consider signing up for EMAIL NOTICES so you'll have a reminder of our weekly HOMEMAKING PARTY---and more! Have a wonderful day!

Mrs. Sarah Coller