Femininity vs. Modesty...What's the Difference?

Recently, I had a conversation with another Christian woman who asked a question similar to this:  

"What standards do we, as Christian women, use to decide what is modest when it comes to dressing? Islam and Judaism both have very specific laws, but Christianity, as a spiritual system of relational obedience in freedom, has no such standard."

I think this question can be answered by thinking, as this woman pointed out, about one of the biggest differences between Christianity and other religions. In Christianity, we live by relationship rather than law. We obey God's laws, not out of fear or tradition, but because we have relationship with him and love him. Because we have this relationship, we are able to go to him with our questions about modesty and ask him what this looks like for our own lives. 

The Bible gives us very little to go on as far as what to wear. It is clear that we are to be modest (1 Tim. 2:9), we are to dress "like women" (Deut. 22:5), and that we are not to be obsessed or proud (as in not humble) about our appearance (1 Peter 5:5-6). I think it's clear in the heart of any woman who desires to dress modestly that she should be "covered up" in the essential places with clothes that are not tight-fitting. After that, I think a lot of it is dependent on what God knows we need to do to make our own hearts right and, in some cases, what the people around us need to keep theirs right. 

For instance, I don't think a woman in slacks and a button down top is dressing immodestly. I don't think it's the most feminine outfit---but it's modest as far as "avoiding lust of the eyes" goes. 

I think that many Christian women, when discussing modesty, confuse it with the issue of femininity.  This is where a lot of the bickering and belaboring of details comes in that those of us who discuss this face.  No Godly woman wants her femininity questioned---but that's exactly what ends up happening when we confuse the two terms.

Modesty: "Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior."
Femininity:  "A characteristic or trait traditionally held to be female."

I don't think that any true, Bible-believing woman would question the need for modesty.  This is of pretty obvious importance in Scripture, as well as in the conscience of anyone who has Jesus dwelling in her heart.  It's the femininity question that needs to be answered and I truly believe that is a personal choice based on interpretation of both the current culture and the voice of God in ones heart.

Before you get all up in arms that I mentioned our culture having an impact on what we consider to be feminine dress, just think of men in togas...or men in tights, if you'd like!  How about salwar kameez?

For me, I know that I need to be in skirts and dresses because of how it works in MY heart. When I am dressed in what I consider to be more feminine clothing, I automatically act more feminine. I function in my roles of wife and mother better and I speak, act and carry myself in a more peaceful and kind way. I know what God wants for my own personal walk---because I have relationship with him and can ask him! 

Does this mean you should also adopt a wardrobe of skirts and dresses?  Of course not.  You should, however, make sure that what you are wearing makes your gender obvious and is following the standards of modesty that you know in your heart to be right.  I don't need to spell those out for you---just ask God, He'll make it perfectly clear for you! 

Does God Ever Give Us More Than We Can Handle?

One morning, after being woken up and trying in vain to get back to sleep, I headed out to the living room to read my Bible for awhile. I read Acts chapters 21-24 and was really encouraged by the stories of the Apostle Paul. These chapters tell about Paul's imprisonment over a course of several years and his appearance before several prominent leaders of the times to "plead his case".

It struck me that by holding him in prison and taking him from place to place, Paul's accusers may have thought they were silencing him and the message that he was spreading. After all, they'd got him off the streets and away from citizens who may be swayed by his teaching. Yet, on the contrary, God was using Paul's time in bondage to witness to some of the highest ranking authorities in the land.

Acts 23:11 confirms the Lord's hand in this: "But on the night immediately following, the Lord stood at his side and said, 'Take courage; for as you have solemnly witnessed to My cause at Jerusalem, so you must witness at Rome also.' "

This encouraged me in the thought that when we dedicate our lives to God and to his service, we never have to be afraid of where we "end up". Whether it be at a job site, at home, or (hopefully not!!) in prison, God's directing hand will always place us exactly where he wants us.

A lot of people like to quote what they think is a Bible verse: "God will never give us more than we can handle". That's not necessarily the idea and those words in that order are not actually found anywhere in scripture. What people are probably referring to is a misinterpretation of 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

The Bible is not saying that God will never give us more than we can handle---just ask Paul or Jeremiah or Job and you'll find that there are examples over and over in the Bible of those who were given more than they could bear on their own. What Paul is saying is that God will not give us more than we can handle with him. As long as we are in right relationship with God and attempting to walk within his will, we will be able to recognize him right there beside us, guiding and directing through the most difficult of circumstances.

Paul describes God's provision of help in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9: "For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."

Many of us will go through trials of different sizes and severities and many of them will be impossible for us to bear on our own. We are very weak children. However, we have a great big God who delights in carrying us through the impossibly stormy times. What better place to be than right within the will of God!

This article was published in Issue #88 of The Christian Home magazine.

Linking with:
Wisdom Wednesdays @ Simply Helping Him 

Apple Cider Beef Stew

I came up with this great recipe for Beef Stew last fall and it was a huge hit at the taste-testing table!  I served it with my Autumn Spiced Cornbread and there was barely enough leftover for Daddy's lunch!

Apple Cider Beef Stew
 
Ingredients: 

• 2 tablespoons oil
• 1 1/2 pounds beef, cut into cubes
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 1 cup sliced diced celery
• 10 cups beef broth*
• 2 carrots, sliced into rounds
• 2 medium potatoes, cut into cubes
• 2 cups apple juice**
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. each of nutmeg and cloves
• 1 can corn
• 1/2 c. cornstarch
• salt and pepper

*A less expensive way to do your broth is to buy bullion cubes and dissolve them in water.  A jar of cubes is likely the same price as a couple cans of broth---yet 1 1/2 cube gives you the same amount of broth as a can.  You will get significantly more broth out of the cubes than the can for the same price.

**I used leftover apple cider from Bible study the night before.  If you use spiced cider, you can eliminate adding the cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves.

In a large skillet over medium heat, brown the beef in the oil.

Add onion and celery and sauté for 3 to 5 minutes longer.  Transfer to a large saucepan or stock pot. 

Add beef broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Add the carrots, potatoes, apple juice, and 3 spices; simmer for about 30 to 40 minute longer, or until vegetables are tender. Add corn; continue cooking 5-10 minutes.

In a small bowl or cup, combine cornstarch with 1 c. cold water until smooth. Add the mixture to the simmering broth, a little at a time, until stew is thickened. Taste and add salt and pepper.

Serves 8 to 10

I hope you all enjoy this recipe!  Please come back and let me know if you tried it and how you liked it.  I'd love to hear other variations.  Did you add autumn vegetables like squash, zucchini or pumpkin?  How did you like it with the apple cider/juice?

Today I'm wearing the cute pink apron that I won from the lovely Connie of Living Beautifully.  I've got a whole list of things I want to bake today---hopefully I'll get some of them done!