Consumed

"Incline my heart to Your testimonies,

And not to covetousness.

Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things,

And revive me in Your way."  Psalm 119:36-37

I have really big ideas. I get a plan or a project in my head and it consumes most my thoughts until it's either completed or replaced by a new grand idea. Sometimes it can be really hard to focus on following the Father's leading---going where He says, saying what He prompts, waiting when He's clear I should wait---especially when I'm distracted by less important things. 

But most times, I find it hard to focus on anything BUT the things of the Father. I'm consumed by His wonders and warnings, tracking His prophetic timeline, pulling new things out of Scripture every time I sit down to read. I could spend hours of my day reading and writing about His word, the world going on around me while I wile away in my study. I often think I'm better suited to a dark robe and a measly diet, sequestered away somewhere in a remote monastery, with no one but my pen for company. 

Which brings up the obvious---why has the Father given someone like me an outgoing husband, nine children, a new grandson, real friendships, and an increasingly public ministry? These things do tend to get in the way of the life of a devoted monk.

I believe He's calling me to balance. Left to my own devices, I really would hole up in remote hibernation, avoiding everything that irritates me---and thereby avoiding everything He's called me to. Because everything irritates me.

In the Psalm above, the word "covetousness" can also be translated as profit and the word "testimonies" means God's law. Thus, the basic gist of the passage speaks to the desire to focus on God's ways and not be distracted by what lesser gains can be made. While I don't covet actual things, I definitely covet times of quiet solitude.

And that's just what He wants them to be for me---times. Not days or months, but moments, even a few hours on the occasional day I can have my husband or adult child fill in for me. Coveting is essentially wanting what we do not have and it can be applied even to the things of God. While it's a noble idea to close myself up in a turret with just a candle and a scroll, would I really want to be cloistered away from all the life, laughter, and loud of the people around me who bring me such joy? Well, maybe the loud…

I think the Father intentionally puts us in situations that we wouldn't naturally choose for ourselves for our growth. The closer I get to Him, the more I want to excavate His word and see what treasures I can pull up. It's becoming my natural inclination and if I really want to do this, I will find the time---regardless of what else is going on around me. In His great mercy and grace, He's surrounded me with so much life so I don't become that hermitting monk; but instead, that I would grab hold of just enough life around me to balance me out.

After all, what is the point of knowledge, wisdom, understanding if there's no one around to share it with?

 

Persecution

 

Persecution

I like to think I have a pretty thick skin---or at least that I'm pretty good at faking it and letting hard things slide off my back. Truth is, depending on the day, sometimes I let people really get to me. 

It's different now that I've left the socially acceptable way of following God and have gone rogue with a bunch of other zealots. In the church, there was mutual acceptance. I accepted what was taught for that particular denomination, they accepted me as a member and let me minister there. Now that I've taken ministry into my own hands, it's not unbelievers who come against me---it's churchies.

I'm thinking of Paul. He wasn't imprisoned for bringing the nourishment of Scriptural truth to a society that was starving for it; no, he was imprisoned for stirring the pot, for shining the light of truth on a society that wanted to continue living in darkness. Paul tried to open the eyes of the willfully blind and the purposefully ignorant---he was a thorn in the side of every person who fleetingly felt convicted by his words.

I've been mocked for comparing myself to Paul (like he's some kind of higher saint, rather than just a regular dude serving God) but he's our biggest example of faithfulness in the New Testament, besides Yeshua. He was literally put there as an example to follow. When I think about how much it stinks to question whether I should share truth today and risk having to fight bad feelings toward former friends, I think about Paul in Philippians chapter 1.

"But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel…and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."

I know the persecution I'm facing as a minister of the gospel on social media is laughable in the face of what Paul went through---but the emotions are similar. Reading that portion of Scripture this morning, the Father showed me a couple reasons why He's got me in the stocks, 21st century style:

Through Paul's example of faithfulness in the face of persecution, others were made bold to share the truth, too. If I will keep my temper, stick to Scripture, and pick my battles, the Father will use my example to embolden others as witnesses, also. 

Additionally, we need to realize that this is just the beginning of persecutions. The narrow path is unpalatable to anyone not on it, but especially to those who think they are but are shown they're not. In short: compromisers don't like to have their reasons debunked. The persecution is gonna get a lot hotter and a lot heavier---and it's going to come mainly from those who've "Got Jesus" but don't understand what it means to surrender to Him.

To those of us who are truly walking out this narrow path and trying to reach those around us, let's be so careful to keep our temper, stick to Scripture, and pick our battles. There are arguments out there that just. don't. matter. and we clutter up our ministry by focusing on the noneternal. If you spend more time on flat earth or calendar arguments than you do on ministering about Yeshua and His ways, (Matt. 28:19-20) you're wasting your time. Stop picking apart the little things the enemy is distracting you with and train yourself to go after the really big spiritual warfare stuff. You were shown the narrow path of Revelation 12:17 for a reason.

There. There's my pep talk for the day. For me and maybe for you. Shalom.

Friendships and Mentors and Cans of Worms

 

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-2

My Bible titles this passage, "The Value of a Friend."

A few years ago, I attended a women's event where the theme was mentoring. It reawakened some things in me that had been dormant for too long. I made some commitments to Yahweh regarding using more of my time on other people and I came away feeling energized in my calling to women's ministry. 

Shortly after, the Father tested me in those commitments---as is often His way! I was in a room with many women chatting and laughing and getting to know one another. I had visited with a few friends and was wandering around looking at decorations. (These kinds of events always make me feel awkward. I struggle with small talk---always want to get to the nitty-gritty!) I was just hanging out when the Father told me to start looking at the people more closely. 

I noticed a woman standing off to the side a bit, not talking with anyone. I'd only chatted with her briefly in the past and didn't know her well, so I went up to say hello again and see if I could bumble my way awkwardly through my normal kind of 50/50 introvert/extrovert conversation. 

I took her hand and said, "Hey (Friend), how's it goin' tonight?" 

She smiled and said, "Oh fine!" 

I could have stopped right there. I mean, right? That's the ultimate Sunday morning Christianese phrase: "I'm fine!" 

Sometimes it means, "I've got a lot of stuff going on but don't have the time/desire/interest/strength to discuss it with you." 

More often it means, "I'm struggling and I really do actually want to tell you but you're just making small talk and I don't sense I can trust you with my heart."

For a split second I thought about giving her the pat Christian response, "Oh great! I'm glad. Well, have a good night!" But, praise Yah, He spoke stronger to me than He had in a long time. So, I pulled out my can opener, looked her straight in the eye, and opened up that can of worms. 

"No really, Friend, how are you?"

*****************************************************************

When I read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, I think about all the lonely people out there. There's a lot of them, you know. I read, "For if they fall, one will lift up his companion," and think, "Who will lift up the one without a friend?"

I've had a saying for a long time that I once thought was clever---maybe it was, for its time. I used to say, "I've only got enough emotional energy to spend on a couple of friends."  

Wifing/mothering/homeschooling 10 people is tough, y'all, and there was a brief time there when it was absolutely all I could handle. The Father allowed my outside-the-home ministry to go dormant for awhile so I could put my focus in the right place. I think I allowed it to go on a little longer than He would have liked, though. I got comfortable in my solitude. I also got selfish.

However, now I think of that phrase and I know that time is over. I feel so driven to speak the Father's truth and encouragement to all those lonely women---cans of worms popping open all over the place! (Gummy worms, please. No pork gelatin.)

I want to be that friend that sticks close enough to lift someone up when they fall and point them to help and healing in Yeshua. I'm praying the Father will help me become more and more usable in this way, and that he will bring just the right relationships along. Who has time for small talk? Not this girl. But I've got lots of time---all the time He's given me---for cans of worms. 

Journaling 101: How and Why I Use Journals Every Day

 

 I have several journals that serve different purposes: personal life, Bible study, and more. Watch this viewer-requested video to learn about the benefits of keeping a written record of your daily life and activities.

A Sweet Treat for Pink Saturday

Hi friends! I have been so excited to join in Beverly's Pink Saturday for the first time on my new blog! You may remember me as Sarah from Classical Homemaking.com. That's where I blogged for over 12 years, but this is a new season of life and I wanted a fresh start. (Though I am moving some of my best content over here.) I'm excited to see my old Pink Saturday friends and meet some new ones. Thanks for stopping by!

Earlier this week, my daughter bought me the pretty box of tea pictured above. So thoughtful! Then, my son, who works at Crumbl Cookies, brought me home this gorgeous Pink Velvet cookie. I knew I had to save it for Pink Saturday!

I’ve been dealing with some major anxiety the last few months or so—trying to hide it and not make a big deal but it’s getting out of control. Ha! Lots of things—really horrible things and really amazingly great things—have happened since the days before I lost my Dad in January and my emotions are just maxed out. A couple weeks ago I sliced my finger really really bad with a super sharp knife. It was horrible. The other night, I was lying here reading and I looked over at my finger and realized the scar is the shape of a smiley face. Bahahahaha! These are the kinds of funny things Yahweh does to cheer us up. I will forever have a smiley on my finger—how can somebody be stressed out when they LITERALLY have a smiley face finger???!!!!!

I accidentally took this photo today when I was putting away my camera. It pretty much sums up my life for the next five months. Canning...dehydrating...lots of harvesting... But weeding? Well...there's a reason I have nine children. bwahahaha!

Hope everyone is having a great Pink Saturday! Enjoy your day of rest---it's a gift from our Heavenly Father!

Linking with:

Beverly's Pink Saturday

 

The Freedom to Choose

 

I came across this quote early this morning from one of my favorite authors, Henry David Thoreau: "The true price of anything you do is the amount of time you exchange for it."

I woke up about 3:00 am and have struggled getting back to sleep as every current "life issue", big and small, has decided to rush in and take over my thoughts. 

The issue I can't get out of my head, at the moment, concerns a local writing critique group I visited yesterday. While I appreciated most of the feedback and genuinely enjoyed getting to know most of the members, there was one personality, in particular, that I clashed with right from the beginning.

It quickly became apparent that she and I have very different life philosophies. The trouble is that she had trouble keeping her opinions of mine to herself. Yes, I turned down a scholarship to get married. Yes, I have nine children. Yes, I've laid down a writing career three times now in order to raise them. (I have other interesting personality elements, too, by the way. Could we talk about those instead?) No, this does not automatically make me a martyr to her Feminist cause. It actually shows my strength as a woman who had choices laid out before her and exercised her freedom to choose. As much as I desire to be a part of a group of writers, I'm not sure I'm willing to tolerate this obnoxious person in order to have a mediocre version of the experience I crave.

So my dilemma has been that I've been feeling bad about this. I don't want to seem rude to the person who invited me. I don't want to seem intolerant to an intolerable person. I don't want to give up the idea of a writing group, since I've been looking for one for so long. 

I was praying for answers and faithful Yahweh didn't disappoint. "The true price of anything you do is the amount of time you exchange for it."

Is this particular experience with this particular group irreplaceable? Of course not. Am I willing to deal with the stress of ignorant people in order to have this experience? Definitely not.

Looking at this situation, it appears the true price of sticking with this group is more than I'm willing to pay. I've got just a handful of emotional energy and spare minutes to spend on personal hobbies, especially those that take me outside the home. Writing has always been therapy to me, but it will never be my number one calling---no matter how much I want to throw myself into it, ignoring all else around me.

More than the Thoreau quote, I think this is what the Father wanted me to take from this experience. It has been several years since I've felt inspired to write anything more than the occasional devotional social media post. Then one day last week, in a matter of minutes, I had an entire storyline downloaded into my mind and I am compelled to write it all out as quickly as I can. I think the Father wants me to put writing in its proper place. A hobby that must be used in His way and in His timing.

There are so many instances in my life where this quote is relevant, but this morning the Father used it to help me solve something so silly but so pressing that it was causing me to lose sleep. Thank you, Father. I think I'll write a break up email and go back to bed!

How to Can Strawberry Jam in a Water Bath

 Hi friends! Tonight I posted a video over on my YouTube channel that explains how to can strawberry jam in a water bath. I wanted to leave the recipe here so it's easy for you to reference while you follow the video.

Strawberry Jam (makes 9 pints)

10 c. crushed strawberries

14 c. sugar (divided)

2 boxes pectin

Wash, stem, and crush strawberries to measure 10 cups. Place into a stockpot and stir in 1 c. sugar. Let the mixture sit for 10 minutes. Then add pectin and bring mixture to a rolling boil. Add sugar and bring back to a rolling boil. Then boil for one minute and remove from heat. Fill jars and process in a water bath canner according to instructions in the video below.

Linking with:

Friendship Friday

Canning Tomatoes in a Water Bath

Canning tomatoes is so rewarding and a great way to preserve your harvest or whenever you find them at a great price! Here is a step by step instruction video for canning tomatoes in a water bath. 

 

Can Anyone Be a Homesteader?

Modern homesteading is different than what we traditionally think of as homesteading. It's a mindset more than a specific set of boxes to check off. In this video, I share my take on modern homesteading, along with an introduction to my new brand, Torah Led Homestead.

Flee Youthful Lusts

I like to consider myself a mature believer. I've been pursuing a relationship with Jesus, who I now call Yeshua, for over 30 years. I've spent my entire adult life in one sort of ministry or another and have raised my children in a home that requires honor and obedience to the Father and his Word.

But there's one area of my life that I have always struggled to give Him complete control over---my health. Back in my 20s, I would have just said "my diet"---but now in my 40s, these years of sugar binges and lack of nutrition have caught up to me and I'm starting to see their effects on my overall health. I've had plenty of warnings from the Father---but I've chosen to ignore them, I've chosen to serve my idol instead.

I recently heard a fellow YouTuber say something like, What is Yahweh talking to you about giving up and how much longer can you refuse before He stops talking to you about it anymore? Whoa. That hit me. Will I be given over to my foolishness by a God who has chosen to go silent on me? It's happened to others---the Bible is full of examples. This thought terrifies me.

"But you, O man of God, flee these (temptations) and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness." 1 Timothy 6:11

Refusing to give up my addictions shows immaturity. Refusing to walk in self control shows laziness and irresponsibility.

"Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from (dishonor), he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. Flee also youthful lusts." 2 Timothy 2:21-22

We have three adult sons---two who still live at home. The rule for adult children at home is that they must take care of their own personal bills and either pay us a small monthly rent or contribute significantly to the running of the home. If these conditions are not met, they must move out. Thankfully, I've not had to kick anyone out yet---but I'm not opposed to doing so, if needed. Our mature children must take responsibility for themselves. 

But am I modeling this in my own life? If I won't take care of my Father's "house" (me), then one day I fear he may give me over to my irresponsibility and throw me out! This body belongs to Him and years of unhealthy living are manifesting themselves in signs of an increasingly unhappy home.

The second half of Romans 1 spoke to me pretty clearly this morning:

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. (28)  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting…" Romans 1:18-25, 28

In verses 18-19, we learn that the wrath of God is on those who know what God has revealed but suppress it. It is true that there are certain subjects I don't address in my ministry because I'm not obedient in them myself. While it may seem noble to avoid hypocrisy, the righteous thing to do would be to get those things figured out in my life so I can walk in true obedience.

In verses 20-21, we learn that we have been able to understand Him since the creation of the world. Therefore, we have no excuse not to walk in His ways.

Verse 22 tells us we have chosen idols over Him. Yes, I do this daily when I refuse to require my will to submit to His.

Verses 24-25, 28 are the real clincher for me. Concerning those who choose to worship themselves over walking in obedience to God---He gives those people up to the lust of their hearts and the dishonoring of their bodies. How can I pray for the blessings and favor of the Father when I won't give up the things I know are creating the very problems I'm praying against? It sounds so ridiculous---but addictions are hard. They're traps---not of the body, but of the mind.

If I'm truly a mature disciple, I must walk like one. It's time to grow up.

"But one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind." Philippians 3:12-15

"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For YOU died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-7

I Take Things Out of Context---and So Should You! #readyourBible

 I've been accused of taking things out of context when it comes to matters of the Bible.

Ok, fine, yes, I admit it. I take things out of context.

But so should you!

This phrase, "taking things out of context", has been the battle cry of conservative and fundamental churches for a long time---but what are they really saying? In most cases, they're saying, "you're presenting that scripture in a way that doesn't suit my understanding; therefore, I reject your truth and substitute my own." (Shout out to Adam Savage…) 

In many cases, yes, people are being subjected to a warped truth steeped in centuries of misunderstandings and misrepresentations of who Jesus is and what He came to do. Much of scripture has been taken out of context to make it more palatable to whatever superpower pulls the strings at the time. 

However, there's another side that I'm beginning to see the more I devote my time to sharing truth at any cost. Seasoned Bible believers and long-time church goers are beginning to have truth revealed to them with scripture to back it up and it's scaring the pants right off them. I made a commitment long ago not to share scriptural things without actually sharing the scripture to back up what I'm saying. As people begin to have their eyes opened, straight from Scripture, to what the church has (mostly unintentionally) been suppressing, they don't know how to handle it and cry, "out of context" while really meaning, "out of my comfort zone!"

When I tell people that God's instructions found in Torah (first five books of your very own Bible) are for today and that we should be studying the Bible knowing that we are Israel, I AM taking things out of context! I'm taking them OUT of the context of what Christianity has been pushing for centuries and putting them BACK into the context of what the Bible and history and God Himself actually says! Taking things out of context is good if they're stagnating in the wrong context to begin with.

Many times long-time believers share motivations with unbelievers when it comes to having  their eyes opened to Bible truth: change is scary and hard and uncomfortable and sometimes lonely. It's sometimes easier to stay where we are than to fathom such a huge change to everything we know and do. I can tell you from personal experience that my Torah pursuant walk has been more of a next step in my faith, rather than a complete revolution of it. "Let go and let God" really applies here! I just follow Him one step at a time as He directly leads me---without all the stuff and noise of pastors and pulpits trying to interpret everything for me.

And since I'm taking things out of context, let me completely warp the purpose of this Anaïs Nin quote because it applies here so well:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

This is a time of year when many people make commitments to fresh starts. Let this be the year you pursue His perfect truth, dedicating your study time to hearing straight from the Father. Ask Him to show you what He wants you to know about Him and ask Him to show it to you in a way that you will clearly understand.

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

Yes, I take things out of context. And so should you!