From Fezzik to Buttercup: First Day Success!

Good Morning! Just wanted to post a little note of appreciation to everyone who has commented and sent me private messages about Wednesday's post. I heard from many of you privately and, while I knew I wasn't alone in my fat girl frustrations, it was encouraging to hear your stories. It showed me that this openness about my struggles is needed, so I will continue to do my best to share with you all!

I'm feeling a lot better about it all this morning after a time of prayer and completing one whole day of the THM eating plan yesterday. I didn't go out for a walk yesterday but I was out doing errands from 7:00 am to 5:00 pm so I figured all that running around would count for my daily get-up-and-go!

Some of you are wondering about THM. It stands for Trim Healthy Mama and it's become more than another fad way of eating. The "program" (lack of a better word) was written by a team of Christian sisters, daughters of the founder of the Above Rubies ministry. Thousands of women (men and kids, too!) have been healed of weight problems, diabetes, fertility issues, inflammation issues, and more by following this plan. I encourage you to join their Facebook group and purchase their books (buy used ones on eBay or check your library. Bentonville has them, for you locals.) and get the scoop on this gentle way of healing your body. The basic gist, though, is to separate your fuel sources at every meal. We are fueled by carbs and fats but when we eat them together, that's just too much fuel (for most of us). Instead, we divide up our fuel sources to make one meal a fat/protein meal (THM "S" meal) and one meal a low carb/protein meal (THM "E" meal). A couple other "on plan" practices are to wait 3-4 hours in between meals and to stay away from white flour, sugar, and fake stuff. It's a very doable thing and isn't really any different, cost wise, if you know how to cook for yourself and don't get pulled in to buying fad stuff.

I'm often inspired by others' menus. Here's a look at what I did yesterday. My breakfast was a THM "S" meal. I found that the yogurt and bacon weren't enough to get me through the 3 hours. I could have added some eggs and/or sauteed vegetables---both cooked in butter. My lunch was a THM "E" meal, but the serving of rice was quite a lot for an appropriate E meal so I left about half of the rice and beans in the bowl. Next time I think I'll order a salad rather than a burrito bowl because I found that I wanted more lettuce and less of the rice and beans. Still, it was awesome! Dinner was an "S" meal and filled me up for almost the whole 3 hours. I made my family a regular taco casserole with tortilla chips included and just made my own little (Ok BIG) chipless one in a separate bowl. About two hours after dinner, I started to feel hungry again but waited the three hours and then made a chocolate mug cake. Every time I make these, they're so rich that I can only eat half. This time I ate it with some yogurt and berries and that was doable. I'll keep tweaking the recipe and post it here when I get it sweet enough.


Breakfast: Oikos Triple Zero strawberry yogurt with 1/2 c. blackberries mixed in, bacon, water

Lunch: Chipotle Grill burrito bowl with cilantro lime brown rice, black beans, pico de gallo, steak, sour cream, cheese, and lettuce. (I was out doing errands so I picked up Jamie from work and we had lunch together! Wednesday is our 20 year anniversary! Woo Hoo!)

Dinner: Taco Casserole without chips: seasoned ground beef, cheese, olives, sour cream, tomatoes, lettuce

Snack: 1/2 chocolate mug cake with 1/2 container Oikos Triple Zero Mixed Berry Yogurt and a handful of fresh blueberries

Today is another busy day but I'm gonna take a few minutes now and make my eating plan for the day. I plan and schedule out stuff for my family all the time---now I gotta get in the habit of doing it for myself, rather than saying "I'll just figure it out when it's time."

From Fezzik to Buttercup: Another Weight Loss "Journey"? Inconceivable!

I'm tired of feeling like Princess Buttercup trapped in the body of Fezzik the Giant.

Wanna know something that bugs the snot outta me? (I never realized how gross that saying was until I wrote it out there...sorry.) It makes me nuts when people use the term "journey" for something that's really not all that epic. (Actually, the term "epic" really burns me, too....) Frodo and Sam had a journey, Marco Polo---that was a journey. But when someone talks about their spiritual journey or their weight loss journey? I don't know. It just all seems so dramatic. Seemed. It seemed so dramatic. Until now.

I just got back from a doctor's visit in which I was made aware of the eleventybillion things wrong with my back. Degenerative disc disease, scoliosis, arthritis...I'm 38 years old. Much of this condition is hereditary, but it shouldn't be at nearly the level of degeneration that it is at only 38 years old. The problem is that I've carried 10 children and I am very heavy. Girls, I'm fat. 

One thing that "political correctness" has done to us is that it's niced everything over. We gotta put some sugar on top of that otherwise not-so-nice truth---otherwise we might offend someone. If you are reading this and you are also fat, I'm sorry if I've offended you. But here's my deal: I've been making excuses way too long and those excuses have kept me from doing hard stuff. They've kept me from THE JOURNEY. (Dun dun dunnnn!!)

Truth is, I'm not hiding this fatness from anyone. So, y'all might as well know: I'm 347 pounds. Last week I was 346. Dude, NO ONE---I don't care who you are---no one should be 347 pounds. (Ok, maybe Fezzik the Giant up there is 347 pounds. If you are as tall as Fezzik the Giant then I make an exception for you. You may be 347 pounds and quite healthy). But, as for me and my 5'6" frame, we should not be 347 pounds.

The biggest reason why I want to tell you that I'm 347 pounds is because many of you are also extremely overweight. Obese. Morbidly obese. You're scared. You feel hopeless. You've tried all the stuff and nothing is working. In many cases, it's not working because you stopped trying. That's what my problem is. I tried and then I didn't and here I am. Not gonna beat myself up, not trying to beat you up. Just saying that it's really hard to find a girl out there who will tell you she's 347 pounds---so here you go. 

The second reason I want to tell you I'm 347 pounds is that someday I want to be able to tell you I'm 247 pounds. Then 200. Then 170. Then I think I'll stop. I liked being 170 pounds---back when I was seventeen. Ha! Someday I want all this rambling blah blah to be the prequel to some awesome and inspiring stories about how I got healthy and strengthened my body. Today at the doctor, I refused the pain medications and the injections and even the weekly physical therapy. I don't have time for the PT and I'm not ready to be medicated. Someday I want to say I've decreased the pain by getting my body in shape. 

Today I'd love to say that I have a great plan for eating and fitness and all that. I wanna say I'm focused and motivated and ready for change. The truth is, I left the doctor's office and went to the gas station and bought two slices of pepperoni pizza, a huge Diet Pepsi, and a King Size candy bar. Someday I want the thought of that to make me barf. I do have a bit of a plan...I'll tell you in a minute.

But first I want to acknowledge that this post may seem very much out of character for me. Many of you have been reading this blog for almost 10 years and many of you are close friends I see on a weekly basis. I often pride myself on "being transparent" (another super trendy bloggy women's ministery phrase). But the truth is, there's a lot hiding out inside and I'm getting sick of trying to keep it all together. I love myself. I think I'm beautiful, funny, intelligent, and God's got an awesome purpose for my life. He's done great things in me and will continue to. But, there's also some wrecked stuff in me and I have been stuffing that stuff for far too long. If you prefer the milder me who shows you pretty vintage things, encourages you in your homemaking and homeschooling and Biblical womanhooding, and gives you fattening but cheap recipe ideas, there's 10 years worth of that on this blog. Knock yourself out. Not saying I won't continue with all that. However, whenever you see the image of Fezzik force-feeding a passive Princess Buttercup, you can expect something raw and uncensored. (I'm SO stinkin' trendy! Oh, I forgot "real". It will all be "real" too.) You can expect to read about some struggles and some breakthroughs. If you're fat and lazy like me, you might even get a little motivated! Yay!

So far, my plan is threefold. First, I'm gonna pray for God to anoint me with the strength, wisdom,  and conviction to get my act together. Second, I'm gonna do my best to stick with the Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle that teaches me to separate my carbs and fats. Lots of people have had great weight loss and many other health successes on this plan. It's too much to eat these fuel sources together. Check out their book for more info. Thirdly, I'm gonna try to walk a little every day. This might not seem like some amazing, trendy, motivated journey to you...but for me, having ONE WHOLE DAY of doing those things without fail would be an amazing miracle.

{I would like to end this post with a public apology to my mother who prides herself on being poised and ladylike in public at all times. These stream of consciousness type of posts from me make her waffle between proud and panicked. Just watch---as soon as she reads this, she's gonna comment some sweet, motherly, encouraging thing down below. Inside she's gonna be praying, "Oh Lord! Why does she have to spill her business like this???!!!"}

Challenging Myself to Be a Good Steward of Our Blessings -- Homemade Home

The littles visiting the sno-cone truck at the library summer reading program party!

Hi Friends!

Hope everyone is enjoying a happy and relaxing weekend. It's a bit overcast today and a lot cooler than normal and that always puts me in the mood for cozy living! Jamie and I are very close to being able to purchase our home and are super excited! We've been having a lot of money management talks lately, trying to figure out how to make the best use of our resources. We'll be married twenty years next month and it's interesting how things have changed.

As you can imagine, raising nine children is a challenge in many ways---no matter how deep one's pool of resources is. However, we've really struggled financially over the years---mainly because of our own poor decision making skills. What we're finding lately is that now that Jamie is bringing in more income than we actually need for survival, we're not being as careful as we once were about managing that income in a responsible way. We eat out a lot, purchase things on impulse--often without actually using them right away, and haven't increased our giving at church in a long time.

This past week, we've had some great talks about being better stewards of the blessings God's given us and one way we want to do that is by going back to keeping our kitchen stocked so we can cook and bake from scratch. I'm excited to go out shopping this week and fill up those cupboards and freezers again!

In the meantime, we've been busy in the kitchen! This morning I made banana bread and last night I made some molasses cookies for the freezer. Here's a look at some other fruits of our weekend labor:

Saturday morning I made these pretty blueberry muffins and received several sweet compliments.

Then I made some bread for the first time in several months. Isn't it gorgeous? I made more this morning. Everyone's loving the fresh homemade bread!

After that, Jamie made TWO lovely blackberry pies with berries the kids have been gathering from all over our hills.

Unfortunately, the kids have also been gathering ticks from our hills! Yikes! I mixed up a repellent spray using Young Living's Purification and Peppermint oils and tested it on Selah and Cainan. They had ticks on them when they came back from picking, but none had bitten. I read recently that Arkansas has the highest tick population. GAG! They are everywhere!

Friday night we picked up an order from Bountiful Baskets. Do you have that in your area? We are trying it out for a bit to see what we think. The prices are comparable to Aldi for what you get, but the quality is much fresher. I love Aldi but I often find that their produce goes bad too quickly. We got a good mix of nice fruits and vegetables---bok choy being something new to us! I made a simple stir fry at dinner, combining it with chicken, garlic, plenty of salt and pepper, and sesame oil. It was delicious!

I'm on the hunt for blogs with frugal tips and recipes. Let me know your favorites in the comments below!