It's Time to Grow Up! Part Seven

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 5: "Love is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered"

(cue Don Henley): I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter...but I think it's about forgiveness...

The first six parts of this study were done two years ago--and then I stopped. I'm not really sure what set me back but I think I got hung up on the meaning of this portion of verse 5. As I tried to make sense of it last night, I originally thought it meant, "don't provoke", but now that I've thought it through, what I think it's really saying is, "don't allow yourself to be provoked".

There are a couple of common sense reasons why this is important. First of all, if God is for me, what does it matter if anyone else is against me? Not that I don't get hurt when there's conflict in my life, but is it really worth it to respond to those who would provoke me? I've experienced the heartache that comes from casting my pearls before swine. Remember what your mama taught you: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Wait a minute!!! That's not true! Often times, words hurt worse than physical abuse. Words carry curses and reverberate through our heads for much longer than it takes for a bruise to heal.

This is where the next portion of the verse comes in. "(Love) does not take into account a wrong suffered". Forgiveness. Always forgiveness. What God has shown me in this verse is that if we'll keep an attitude of forgiveness--always forgiveness--then we'll automatically keep ourselves from being provoked.

If we commit to forgiving, even before the wrong is done, then when the provocation comes, God's love will be a barrier between us and the hurt. We'll be more concerned with the hurt inside the one provoking us than we will be about the hurt they are attempting to cause in us.

We can do this by practicing grace. If there's one thing the Lord gives us in abundance, it's His grace. If we are to be Christ-like, let's begin by extending that grace to everyone around us--most of all to those who, by their actions, seem the least deserving of it.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Six

This is part six in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 5a: "Love does not behave rudely"

So many times, I say something to my husband that is rude or bitingly sarcastic---and think later on how angry and hurt I would be if he said that to me. I don't know why I have more of a tendency toward rudeness and sarcasm. Is it a cover up to keep me from being vulnerable? Not once in His word is the Lord rude, sarcastic or belittling toward His people. He gives His love freely. I want to be free of sarcasm and rudeness today.

Help me, God, to be merciful, patient and kind---these three traits will help me keep rudeness at bay.

v. 5b "Love does not seek its own"

I have read this verse so many times, but it was only recently that it really made sense--that I understood it according to my own experience. Love does not seek its own. Love does not go looking for love. It is selfless--it is not looking out for number one.

Love isn't conditional. I have put up so many walls and sabotaged many good times with an attitude that says, I won't give to you unless I'm sure you'll give to me. I don't want to risk looking stupid or being vulnerable when it turns out that I was the only one interested in making up. However, all I'm expressing with this attitude is that I am not seriously interested in showing my love to the other person. If I was, then their response wouldn't be a factor in whether or not I did.

I am reminded of a song by Sara Groves called Roll to the Middle:

We just had World War II here in our kitchen.
We both thought the meanest things and then we both said them.
We shot at each other till we lost ammunition.
This is how I know our love.
This is when I feel it's power.
Here in the absence of it,
This is my darkest hour.
When both of us are hunkered down,
And waiting for the truce.
All the complicated wars, they end pretty simple:
Here when the lights go out, we roll to the middle.
No matter how my pride resists,
No matter how the wall feels true,
No matter how I can't be sure that you're goona roll in too,
No matter what, no matter what,
I'm goona reach for you.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Five

This is part five in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 4c: "Love does not brag and is not arrogant"

Many times, I've questioned my motives: am I doing this for me or for others? I seem to have a real need to be seen, to be acknowledged. It seems like I tend to find my worth in other people's affirmations of me. This used to be so bad when I was younger that it became debilitating. There were a lot of things that I wanted to say or do but didn't because I was afraid of how others would perceive me. I think this fear has turned around a lot lately but I still find myself, every now and then, basing my decisions on how others will react. I don't want to be in the background---I want to be in the spotlight! But love doesn't parade itself---what are my motives?

Do I want to glorify God or Sarah? I don't need to parade a servant's heart. If my heart is truly to serve, I will do so whether or not anyone is looking. If I am to give, I don't need to tell everyone that the gift came from me. The Lord sees everything and He rewards justly. But, am I doing these things solely for a reward? No--I must do them with the heart of God.

Lord, give me a desire to serve and to give--without regard to how many jewels you will put in my crown.