From Fezzik to Buttercup: Another Weight Loss "Journey"? Inconceivable!

I'm tired of feeling like Princess Buttercup trapped in the body of Fezzik the Giant.

Wanna know something that bugs the snot outta me? (I never realized how gross that saying was until I wrote it out there...sorry.) It makes me nuts when people use the term "journey" for something that's really not all that epic. (Actually, the term "epic" really burns me, too....) Frodo and Sam had a journey, Marco Polo---that was a journey. But when someone talks about their spiritual journey or their weight loss journey? I don't know. It just all seems so dramatic. Seemed. It seemed so dramatic. Until now.

I just got back from a doctor's visit in which I was made aware of the eleventybillion things wrong with my back. Degenerative disc disease, scoliosis, arthritis...I'm 38 years old. Much of this condition is hereditary, but it shouldn't be at nearly the level of degeneration that it is at only 38 years old. The problem is that I've carried 10 children and I am very heavy. Girls, I'm fat. 

One thing that "political correctness" has done to us is that it's niced everything over. We gotta put some sugar on top of that otherwise not-so-nice truth---otherwise we might offend someone. If you are reading this and you are also fat, I'm sorry if I've offended you. But here's my deal: I've been making excuses way too long and those excuses have kept me from doing hard stuff. They've kept me from THE JOURNEY. (Dun dun dunnnn!!)

Truth is, I'm not hiding this fatness from anyone. So, y'all might as well know: I'm 347 pounds. Last week I was 346. Dude, NO ONE---I don't care who you are---no one should be 347 pounds. (Ok, maybe Fezzik the Giant up there is 347 pounds. If you are as tall as Fezzik the Giant then I make an exception for you. You may be 347 pounds and quite healthy). But, as for me and my 5'6" frame, we should not be 347 pounds.

The biggest reason why I want to tell you that I'm 347 pounds is because many of you are also extremely overweight. Obese. Morbidly obese. You're scared. You feel hopeless. You've tried all the stuff and nothing is working. In many cases, it's not working because you stopped trying. That's what my problem is. I tried and then I didn't and here I am. Not gonna beat myself up, not trying to beat you up. Just saying that it's really hard to find a girl out there who will tell you she's 347 pounds---so here you go. 

The second reason I want to tell you I'm 347 pounds is that someday I want to be able to tell you I'm 247 pounds. Then 200. Then 170. Then I think I'll stop. I liked being 170 pounds---back when I was seventeen. Ha! Someday I want all this rambling blah blah to be the prequel to some awesome and inspiring stories about how I got healthy and strengthened my body. Today at the doctor, I refused the pain medications and the injections and even the weekly physical therapy. I don't have time for the PT and I'm not ready to be medicated. Someday I want to say I've decreased the pain by getting my body in shape. 

Today I'd love to say that I have a great plan for eating and fitness and all that. I wanna say I'm focused and motivated and ready for change. The truth is, I left the doctor's office and went to the gas station and bought two slices of pepperoni pizza, a huge Diet Pepsi, and a King Size candy bar. Someday I want the thought of that to make me barf. I do have a bit of a plan...I'll tell you in a minute.

But first I want to acknowledge that this post may seem very much out of character for me. Many of you have been reading this blog for almost 10 years and many of you are close friends I see on a weekly basis. I often pride myself on "being transparent" (another super trendy bloggy women's ministery phrase). But the truth is, there's a lot hiding out inside and I'm getting sick of trying to keep it all together. I love myself. I think I'm beautiful, funny, intelligent, and God's got an awesome purpose for my life. He's done great things in me and will continue to. But, there's also some wrecked stuff in me and I have been stuffing that stuff for far too long. If you prefer the milder me who shows you pretty vintage things, encourages you in your homemaking and homeschooling and Biblical womanhooding, and gives you fattening but cheap recipe ideas, there's 10 years worth of that on this blog. Knock yourself out. Not saying I won't continue with all that. However, whenever you see the image of Fezzik force-feeding a passive Princess Buttercup, you can expect something raw and uncensored. (I'm SO stinkin' trendy! Oh, I forgot "real". It will all be "real" too.) You can expect to read about some struggles and some breakthroughs. If you're fat and lazy like me, you might even get a little motivated! Yay!

So far, my plan is threefold. First, I'm gonna pray for God to anoint me with the strength, wisdom,  and conviction to get my act together. Second, I'm gonna do my best to stick with the Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle that teaches me to separate my carbs and fats. Lots of people have had great weight loss and many other health successes on this plan. It's too much to eat these fuel sources together. Check out their book for more info. Thirdly, I'm gonna try to walk a little every day. This might not seem like some amazing, trendy, motivated journey to you...but for me, having ONE WHOLE DAY of doing those things without fail would be an amazing miracle.

{I would like to end this post with a public apology to my mother who prides herself on being poised and ladylike in public at all times. These stream of consciousness type of posts from me make her waffle between proud and panicked. Just watch---as soon as she reads this, she's gonna comment some sweet, motherly, encouraging thing down below. Inside she's gonna be praying, "Oh Lord! Why does she have to spill her business like this???!!!"}

Challenging Myself to Be a Good Steward of Our Blessings -- Homemade Home

The littles visiting the sno-cone truck at the library summer reading program party!

Hi Friends!

Hope everyone is enjoying a happy and relaxing weekend. It's a bit overcast today and a lot cooler than normal and that always puts me in the mood for cozy living! Jamie and I are very close to being able to purchase our home and are super excited! We've been having a lot of money management talks lately, trying to figure out how to make the best use of our resources. We'll be married twenty years next month and it's interesting how things have changed.

As you can imagine, raising nine children is a challenge in many ways---no matter how deep one's pool of resources is. However, we've really struggled financially over the years---mainly because of our own poor decision making skills. What we're finding lately is that now that Jamie is bringing in more income than we actually need for survival, we're not being as careful as we once were about managing that income in a responsible way. We eat out a lot, purchase things on impulse--often without actually using them right away, and haven't increased our giving at church in a long time.

This past week, we've had some great talks about being better stewards of the blessings God's given us and one way we want to do that is by going back to keeping our kitchen stocked so we can cook and bake from scratch. I'm excited to go out shopping this week and fill up those cupboards and freezers again!

In the meantime, we've been busy in the kitchen! This morning I made banana bread and last night I made some molasses cookies for the freezer. Here's a look at some other fruits of our weekend labor:

Saturday morning I made these pretty blueberry muffins and received several sweet compliments.

Then I made some bread for the first time in several months. Isn't it gorgeous? I made more this morning. Everyone's loving the fresh homemade bread!

After that, Jamie made TWO lovely blackberry pies with berries the kids have been gathering from all over our hills.

Unfortunately, the kids have also been gathering ticks from our hills! Yikes! I mixed up a repellent spray using Young Living's Purification and Peppermint oils and tested it on Selah and Cainan. They had ticks on them when they came back from picking, but none had bitten. I read recently that Arkansas has the highest tick population. GAG! They are everywhere!

Friday night we picked up an order from Bountiful Baskets. Do you have that in your area? We are trying it out for a bit to see what we think. The prices are comparable to Aldi for what you get, but the quality is much fresher. I love Aldi but I often find that their produce goes bad too quickly. We got a good mix of nice fruits and vegetables---bok choy being something new to us! I made a simple stir fry at dinner, combining it with chicken, garlic, plenty of salt and pepper, and sesame oil. It was delicious!

I'm on the hunt for blogs with frugal tips and recipes. Let me know your favorites in the comments below!

Sweet Vintage Books for Pink Saturday

Happy Pink Saturday! 

I finally got unpacked from my Seattle trip (got back a month ago...ha!) and wanted to show off all my fun pink book finds. These first two books are so special to me as they are ones I had as a little girl. My mom read them to me countless times---especially Me Too. I can't wait to share them with my little girls. I found these at our favorite Mount Vernon, Washington antique store, Red Door Antiques.

I found these two antique books at a shop I'd never been to: Curious Goods in Conway, Washington. Both books are undated but some internet sleuthing tells me they were published around 1904.

On the left is J.M. Barrie's The Little Minister (Barrie is the author of Peter Pan). On the right is Charles Kingsley's Greek Heroes. (Kingsley authored The Water Babies and several other stories for children, including a fun collection of Shakespeare retellings that we've enjoyed over the years in our homeschool).

I especially love it when books are inscribed. Both of these are. One is to this "Anna" and the other is from her to her mother. I love these sweet treasures!

Happy Pink Saturday! Be sure to visit Beverly for more Pink Saturday goodness!