A Call to Mothers of Daughters

Kynthia (7) recently made us a delicious pie!

Ladies, today I want to talk to you about how you're training your daughters.

This post has been brewing in my heart for awhile, but I wanted to be careful about how I went about writing it because this topic hits a nerve with so many.

One day I was in the meat section at Aldi and a couple of women in their 20s were looking at all the different cuts of meat. They were trying to decide what to cook for a get together and one of them said, "Steak sounds so good right now!" The other said, "Yeah, I know. I wish I knew how to cook it." The first girl agreed that she, also, didn't know how to cook it. They then had the same conversation about fish and when I was finished picking out the meat I needed, they were still trying to decide on something to buy. Not because they weren't sure what sounded best, but because they weren't sure how to cook any of it.

So many moms are doing a huge disservice to their daughters without ever meaning to. We teach our daughters that they should focus more on their brains than their looks, we tell them they can be anything they want to be. Some moms encourage their daughters to pursue a college degree and a career. Many who are stay at home moms themselves set their daughters on a track for employment outside the home and think they will have a better life. I'm not here to debate the pros and cons of stay at home moms vs. employed career women. Not today, anyway.

Avalon (9) had an idea for individual meatloaf balls one day so she experimented in the kitchen and they were fantastic!

What I do want to talk to you about is homemaking skills. Here's where things can get kind of judgy judgy so please hear my heart---because some of the women I'm about to describe are some of you readers. This is not an admonition---just an encouragement and something to think and pray about.

In the pursuit to grow their daughters' academic brains, many moms are missing out on the opportunity to train them in basic household management. Whether or not your daughter goes on to be a career woman or a full time homemaker, she is going to need basic life skills. Does your daughter know how to prepare a meal, or even a portion of one, from scratch, with any combination of ingredients available to her? Can she shop for a week's worth of groceries on a budget? Does she know how to change a diaper, check a temperature, or recognize the signs of a baby in distress? Is she familiar with using a toilet plunger? Can she recognize mold and mildew growing on a shower curtain? Does she know when food is spoiled and can she recognize when a cut of meat is cooked enough to eat safely? Would she be able to tell if her house was infested with fleas from her dog or with cockroaches?

Here's a bigger question moms: do you know how to do these things?

These are all basic life skills that everyone will need---whether they work outside the home or decide to stay home. Many parents are concerned about preparing their daughters for a life without a man, should they be abandoned by their partner or not marry at all; however, they mistakenly focus on her education too heavily, at the expense of her life skills. I can't tell you how many women my age have their husbands change the flat tire, fix the leaky faucet, change the moldy shower curtain---I do too, honestly. But if the argument is that they're training daughters for a potential life of singleness, why are they not focusing on the things she'll actually need to know to get through life?

Guys need kitchen skills, too. Our 14 year old son, Cainan, makes fabulous dinner rolls!

Feminism has done such a massive disservice to women, to the home. Again, that's a post (or a nine volume saga) for another day. In pushing their girls out into, what many of us still call a "man's world", mothers have somehow thrown out the baby with the bath water. I don't want to call out specifics because we all have different lifestyles that necessitate certain conveniences at certain times. I just want to give you a general encouragement to pray about how you can be better training your children to do the basic life things that we all encounter day by day. If you feel inadequate, ask someone for help! If you are local, ask ME for help! There are many tutorials and videos online and on blogs for anything you'd ever want to learn.

Family traditions, cozy homes, simple life pleasures---these are not things of the past. They carry on from generation to generation through us women, working outside the home or full time homemakers---all of us who are the hearts of our homes.

Michael Turns 17 Today...

Michael turning 17 feels different than Lynzie turning 17. The older Lynzie gets, the closer she becomes my friend. The more she relates to me, the more she understands me. Our closeness grows, the older she gets.

The older Michael gets, the more independent he becomes. When he turned 16, that gave him the freedom to drive and to get a job. It took him away for several hours, several days a week. This summer, he began serving as the youth worship team leader at church and took on more responsibility on the adult worship team. Now he's gone more than he's home and school lessons feel more like a formality than the interactive, inventive explorations they once were.

Michael turns 17 today. Ever since I got on Facebook in 2009, I have posted a birthday collage of past photos and a message to the special person of the day. This morning I got up to do it and found that his sweet girlfriend, Emily---a Godsend to Michael and to me---had already hit Facebook and Instagram with fantastic photos and special words that are meaningful to them in the beautiful life they're beginning to make for themselves.

I was a little surprised to find that I wasn't a bit jealous---only thankful that she's just as sentimental as I am. I trust this Godly girl with his heart.

Michael turns 17 today and my year of letting go has begun.

In our family, we train our boys for manhood before they hit the "official" age. We want them to be ready to take on all the responsibilities of work, providing, leadership, and ministry that God has designed men to carry. Michael has been going after this dream of manhood since he was about eight years old. It couldn't come fast enough for him; and so I, too, am excited for him to fulfill his dreams.

Michael turns 17 today, but I know I'll still catch glimpses of my child that remind me of all our happy times of the past. He still leaves his clothes lying around---but now, instead of it being his blue bathrobe, it's his blue jacket and I charge him $5.00 for leaving it out...again. He still requests a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and Reese's on top---only now, me and Emily's stepmom look forward to eating it more than he does. And he still loves these birthday pancakes I'm making for him right now, and will continue to make whenever he brings his family to visit Grandma. I sure hope Emily likes chocolate chip pancakes.

Dear Christmas Mothers -- Inspiring Letters to Homemakers -- Book Review and a Giveaway!

Good Morning Ladies! Hope you're all having a happy week so far. I spent yesterday decorating for Christmas, reading, and just relaxing after a week of celebrating Thanksgiving with my family and my father. He started back to Oregon yesterday morning---please pray with me for his safe return home.

Last week I enjoyed reading through this new publication from The Legacy of Home Press, Dear Christmas Mothers by Mrs. Connie Hultquist. My dear friend, homemaking mentor, and fellow blogger, Mrs. Sharon White, let me know about the book and sent me a copy for review. 

In Dear Christmas Mothers, Mrs. Hultquist shares holiday letters she wrote in the early 2000s, encouraging homemakers to make a happy Thanksgiving and Christmas for their families. She gives  ideas to make one's home cozy on a very limited budget and offers a couple recipes for favorite treats.

The book is "written as spoken" and that's part of the charm. The very informal style of the letters allows the reader to imagine she's chatting at a cozy coffee table with a friend.

A favorite theme of the book is the call to Christian homemakers to create a sense of community and mentorship. The importance of mentorship has been revealed to me in so many ways this last year that I can't help believing God is leading me into a season of more opportunities to bless the lives of the women around me. I'm excited about that! Here is a favorite quote regarding our Titus 2 calling:

"We ain't supernatural. We can't make things happen. But we can stand with our arms raised up like Moses so that God can defeat the army against us. Just stand, dear saints, with arms lifted to Jesus, for in Him comes your help...and when your arms feel tired, let the saints come along and help you hold up your arms of faith." (Dear Christmas Mothers, pg. 67)

I hope you'll check out Dear Christmas Mothers on Amazon.com, as well as the other publications from The Legacy of Home Press. I've been blessed by each of the homemaking resources Mrs. White has offered the past few years. I know you will be, too!

The author is giving away one free copy of Dear Christmas Mothers to one of my readers. To win, simply leave a comment telling me something about your Christmas homemaking plans for this season. Giveaway ends Saturday December 8.