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Tuesday, December 4, 2018

A Call to Mothers of Daughters

Kynthia (7) recently made us a delicious pie!
Ladies, today I want to talk to you about how you're training your daughters.

This post has been brewing in my heart for awhile, but I wanted to be careful about how I went about writing it because this topic hits a nerve with so many.

One day I was in the meat section at Aldi and a couple of women in their 20s were looking at all the different cuts of meat. They were trying to decide what to cook for a get together and one of them said, "Steak sounds so good right now!" The other said, "Yeah, I know. I wish I knew how to cook it." The first girl agreed that she, also, didn't know how to cook it. They then had the same conversation about fish and when I was finished picking out the meat I needed, they were still trying to decide on something to buy. Not because they weren't sure what sounded best, but because they weren't sure how to cook any of it.

So many moms are doing a huge disservice to their daughters without ever meaning to. We teach our daughters that they should focus more on their brains than their looks, we tell them they can be anything they want to be. Some moms encourage their daughters to pursue a college degree and a career. Many who are stay at home moms themselves set their daughters on a track for employment outside the home and think they will have a better life. I'm not here to debate the pros and cons of stay at home moms vs. employed career women. Not today, anyway.

Avalon (9) had an idea for individual meatloaf balls one day so she experimented in the kitchen and they were fantastic!
What I do want to talk to you about is homemaking skills. Here's where things can get kind of judgy judgy so please hear my heart---because some of the women I'm about to describe are some of you readers. This is not an admonition---just an encouragement and something to think and pray about.

In the pursuit to grow their daughters' academic brains, many moms are missing out on the opportunity to train them in basic household management. Whether or not your daughter goes on to be a career woman or a full time homemaker, she is going to need basic life skills. Does your daughter know how to prepare a meal, or even a portion of one, from scratch, with any combination of ingredients available to her? Can she shop for a week's worth of groceries on a budget? Does she know how to change a diaper, check a temperature, or recognize the signs of a baby in distress? Is she familiar with using a toilet plunger? Can she recognize mold and mildew growing on a shower curtain? Does she know when food is spoiled and can she recognize when a cut of meat is cooked enough to eat safely? Would she be able to tell if her house was infested with fleas from her dog or with cockroaches?

Here's a bigger question moms: do you know how to do these things?

These are all basic life skills that everyone will need---whether they work outside the home or decide to stay home. Many parents are concerned about preparing their daughters for a life without a man, should they be abandoned by their partner or not marry at all; however, they mistakenly focus on her education too heavily, at the expense of her life skills. I can't tell you how many women my age have their husbands change the flat tire, fix the leaky faucet, change the moldy shower curtain---I do too, honestly. But if the argument is that they're training daughters for a potential life of singleness, why are they not focusing on the things she'll actually need to know to get through life?

Guys need kitchen skills, too. Our 14 year old son, Cainan, makes fabulous dinner rolls!
Feminism has done such a massive disservice to women, to the home. Again, that's a post (or a nine volume saga) for another day. In pushing their girls out into, what many of us still call a "man's world", mothers have somehow thrown out the baby with the bath water. I don't want to call out specifics because we all have different lifestyles that necessitate certain conveniences at certain times. I just want to give you a general encouragement to pray about how you can be better training your children to do the basic life things that we all encounter day by day. If you feel inadequate, ask someone for help! If you are local, ask ME for help! There are many tutorials and videos online and on blogs for anything you'd ever want to learn.

Family traditions, cozy homes, simple life pleasures---these are not things of the past. They carry on from generation to generation through us women, working outside the home or full time homemakers---all of us who are the hearts of our homes.

18 comments:

  1. Very good advice and heartfelt message!

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  2. I'm hoping to teach these skills to both my kids......I think they are learning beside me....I grew up on Microwave meals and extracurricular activities.....I started at ground zero! HA!

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    1. Well you can only go up from there! Ha! They pick up on a lot. I'm sure they're learning many great things that will give them a solid future!

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  3. Thank you Sarah for posting this. If I had heard this girls talking I probably would have offered to come over and show how to prepare whatever meat they chose.

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    1. Yes, that would be fantastic to have that free time!

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  4. I think it goes even deeper than basic life skills. I’m seeing a lot of adults that have no problem solving or logic skills. I’m trying so hard to teach my kids to try to figure out solutions to the problems they face before they come to me to be spoon fed answers. Your kids are getting such a well-rounded education that will prepare them well for “real life”!

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    1. Yes, this is true! Many in our society have lost the desire to figure things out for themselves, to be independent thinkers. My kids know the only word I'll ever spell for them is d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y. Ha!! I can't teach them everything...but I CAN teach them how to learn anything they'd ever need to know!

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  5. I see your son also doing some cooking. I have a son and I did years of foster son's and I taught each of them how to cook and shop. I figured until they married they would they were to cook for themselves. Also when married they could help mom out if she were ill.

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  6. This is a good reminder. And gently shared, in my opinion.

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  7. Very good advice, but why is it limited to girls / daughters? I'm not saying this to sound provocative, but personally, I think these skills are important both for boys and girls. Everyone should be able to run a household; there are no guarantees you'll find someone else who'll do it for you. Just saying :-)

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    1. Yep! That's why I featured a photo of my son with caption below!

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  8. First off, how I MISS you! I feel like we never "talk" anymore; where we used to chat all the time. I hope you're doing well!!

    Second, I love this post. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. My oldest son made me a venison pot pie one time, from scratch, when he was EIGHT. lol My second son also cooks very well.

    I must confess, after having all those boys; growing up with only brothers; and not having a "girly" mom, I wasn't QUITE sure how to raise a girl. And while she can be a tomboy, she is definitely gaining some feminine qualities, but I've had to pray and adjust MY life through the years, and even moreso now. Society would have us live like men, but we AREN'T men! The world needs men AND women. I agree 100% with your post. :)

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  9. I agree with you, Sarah. Both sons and daughters need life skills. I'm thankful for a mother who taught me to cook (a little)and many other things, too. I missed out on learning to clean house because we had a housekeeper. I tried to teach my two daughters a well-rounded homemaking skill-set. I enjoyed your post today, and pray you and yours have a lovely and blessed holiday season.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! I read each one of them and love to respond back to those who visit! Please consider signing up for EMAIL NOTICES so you'll have a reminder of our weekly HOMEMAKING PARTY---and more! Have a wonderful day!

Mrs. Sarah Coller

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