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Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts

Monday, January 21, 2013

Forgiving Grace

"You are my hiding place; you shall preserve me from trouble; you shall surround me with songs of deliverance."  ~Psalm 32:7

God is our hiding place!  How sad that so many feel they must hide from God...even many Christians believe this to be true.

An unbeliever has much to fear if they are defying God and His word.  They will face devastating consequences.

"If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned."  ~John 15:6

However, the believer need not fear God but take refuge in Him instead!

"For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion;  in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me;  He shall set me high upon a rock."  ~Psalm 27: 5    
God is a loving and merciful God to those who don't blatantly disregard Him.  He wants to "preserve us from trouble" and He uses the Holy Spirit to speak warnings and guidance to our hearts.

For those with addictions or struggles that need to be overcome, He wants to surround them with "songs of deliverance."

"Blessed is he who's transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.  Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit."  ~Psalm 32:1-2
We don't have to live in fear of God's judgments if we have trusted Jesus for salvation and forgiveness of our sins.  Unfortunately, many of us, when faced with the shame of our sin, distance ourselves from God because we're afraid our transgressions have changed God's feelings toward us.

Believing Christian, next time you feel that guilt that tries to push you away from God, I encourage you to come close to Him instead.  Rather than the wrath you're afraid of, you'll find Him singing over you a cleansing song of deliverance!  

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 This post was featured in Issue 98 of The Christian Home Magazine.

Linking with:
Teach Me Tuesday @ Growing Home 
Titus 2sday @ Time Warp Wife 
Tuesday Linkup Party @ Courtship Connection 
Women Helping Women @ Teaching What Is Good 
Wisdom Wednesday @ Simply Helping Him 
Wholehearted Home Wednesday 
Encourage One Another @ Deep Roots at Home 
Wise Woman Linkup @ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home 
Desire to Inspire @ A Royal Daughter 
Legacy Leaver Thursdays 
Essential Friday @ Essential Thing Devotions 
Inspire Me Monday @ Create With Joy 

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Burden of the Blessed Life

Survivor's guilt

Have you ever felt guilty for being blessed in a way that many others aren't?  Perhaps you've experienced a life-threatening situation and came out unscathed, while others suffered less desirable fates.  Maybe you've been healed of a sickness that many are still suffering from.

Many times in life, we find ourselves sitting in the good seats watching, often without any ability to help, while our friends and loved ones walk through very tough times.

This is where I'm finding myself lately.

I've got parents divorcing.  I've got extended family divorcing.  I've got good friends divorcing. Even more heartbreaking, a dear friend just lost a much prayed for baby to miscarriage.

My soul hurts for these people that I love---that I have relationship with---that are going through such a very difficult time.

What can I do to help?  I can't save a marriage...or a baby.  I want to pray.  But have I been?  Not as much as I should be.

To be honest, I'm experiencing wallowing in survivor's guilt.

Of course, everyone's got problems;  but when I look at the petty things I'm walking through right now, in light of what's happening to those around me, I see there's just no comparison.

Out of my 10 pregnancies, I've only lost one to miscarriage.  Losing that baby five years ago was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through---but I've been healed--and I think 1 for 10 is pretty good odds.  The baby I'm currently carrying is, as far as we know, healthy and strong.  So why, instead of thanking God for blessing our children with health, do I feel such guilt that they're healthy?

As for my marriage, Jamie and I just celebrated 14 years!  We've known each other since we were 13 and have been very best friends since we were 16.  We have walked through all kinds of heart breaking situations together.  At times, it's been a really rough road---but we're together.  Neither one of us is going anywhere---nor can we fathom anything that would be big enough to separate us.  Why then, instead of glorying in that, instead of thanking God every day for holding us together, do I harbor such fear that this beautiful bubble that I live in is going to pop any day now?

I feel helpless to offer prayers, advice, encouragement---especially in the situations where my loved ones are, (in some cases) so easily willing to end their marriages.  Marriages that, in each instance, began in a church, asking for God's sustained blessing.  I feel guilty talking about my blissful marriage when these others are having such a hard time.  I feel guilty sharing happy milestones of my pregnancy when one of my dearest friends is mourning the loss of her own.

Can a person who is living the blessed life really imagine themselves in the shoes of their hurting loved ones?  I say yes.  Absolutely.

The reason it's called survivor's guilt is because those who feel it are the ones who've survived.  We've spent time in the same den of lions but somehow, by the grace of God, we've come out in tact.  However, unlike the Biblical Daniel, who came out of the lion's den untouched, we survivors have not come out without scars. 

SO many people tell me that I have the perfect life.  Many see me as having a perfect marriage. Perfect children.  They say I am doing everything right to ensure a "til death do us part" marriage and children who grow into godly, law-abiding adults.  As flattering as that is, it's not true.  Nothing, outside of God and his plan, is perfect.  As much as I desire those wonderful outcomes, I'm human---as is the rest of my family---and we all make mistakes that tarnish our lives and leave scars.

The reason that people probably see me this way is that I don't share my personal problems publicly.  When I have issues with my husband or kids, I go to them.  Not to Facebook.  Very rarely do I share a personal issue with my own mother---other than that, there's no one that hears our private junk.  I am, however, very quick to praise my husband or brag on my kids.  I want others to see them in the best light possible.  Would I want my husband or kids broadcasting my flaws outside these four walls?

The problem with all of this, and the burden of the blessed life, is that others think I can't relate.  They think I have this "perfect life" because I have steered away from every possible sinful thing out there.  They think that devastating circumstances have passed me by.

The truth of that matter is very far from this thinking.  I am very much able to offer support, advice, sympathy.  I can very much relate because I have survived.  More than that, I've been healed of the hurt that many of my loved ones are experiencing right now.

I remember the devastation, self-blame, anger, and fear that come with the loss of a child.

I know the feelings of confusion, hard-heartedness, and inadequacy that follow a betrayal.

I have thought the grass was greener in someone else's pasture and have even tested the theory to find it sorely lacking in substance.  More than once.

I recognize the scary cycles of an addiction that seems impossible to overcome.  I'm still cycling.

I've experienced a depression so deep that leaving my family or even ending my life seemed like very logical answers.  Several years of it, in fact.

Many people think that those who are living the "good life" are unable to be of any assistance to them when they're going through tough times.  They think that we live in some la-la land and can't relate.  They're sick of hearing, "well, just trust God and it'll all work out fine."  (In reality, we should all definitely trust God---but that doesn't mean it's all going to work out fine.  Sometimes it all falls apart and it really sucks...but he's still worthy of our trust.)

While there are many who will read this and either relate to where I'm coming from or will roll their eyes and say, "she has NO idea", what I really want is for those who know me to read it and understand something.  I can relate.  I want to help you. 

When you're going through hard stuff, don't be so quick to make assumptions about the people around you who want to help.  There's a reason they've survived and their survival skills might be just what you need.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Compassion, Not Condemnation: Compassion Part Five


This is part five of a study on showing compassion to the unsaved.  Part One can be found here, Part Two is here, Part Three is here, and Part Four is here

When we understand and acknowledge what Christ did for us, we can extend that same compassion to others.   

Romans 5:6-8 says, "For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

We are called to compassion.  1 Peter 3:8-9 reads, "Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another;  love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."

When speaking of the unsaved, the Bible calls them "sinners".  While we all sin on a daily basis, Christian or not, the distinction is made between those who will die in their sin because they've refused to accept Jesus as their savior (sinners), and those who are forgiven their sins when they ask with a repentant heart and will live eternally with Jesus (the saved).  So how did Christ treat sinners?

Matthew 23: 27-28: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

During a sermon a couple months ago, our pastor said, "His scorn wasn't for sinners, it was for the religious self-righteous."

The Pharisees were equivalent to the hypocritical believers of today.  We can turn up our noses at the Pharisees' behavior, but how many times have we appeared beautiful and "having it all together" on the outside when we were actually dead and unclean on the inside?  Jesus despises the "Christian on the fence".

Revelation 3:15-16 says, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."

Sometimes associating with a Christian who is sinning (walking in blatant sin but still claiming to follow Christ) can be a bigger danger than hanging out with an unbeliever.  The "Christian's" sins seem less obvious and we are quick to make excuses for them.  We are also quicker to forgive them than we are unbelievers.  Should there be a distinction?

When Jesus encountered the unsaved, he showed them compassion---not condemnation!

Luke 19:10: "for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

John 3:17: " For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

This article was featured in Issue 54 of The Christian Home magazine.

Linking with: Faith Talking Tuesdays @ AudraSilva.com

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