I'm thankful everyday for my family---that's a given. But, as I've been in some serious physical pain these past few days, I've really been thinking on how very, very thankful I am that God has blessed us with the family dynamic that we have!
As most of my readers know, I'm due to have our seventh child any day now. During pregnancy, I usually suffer from some back pain, as well as pain in my sciatic nerve. However, this pregnancy has definitely been a rougher than normal one. After baby #5, I injured my tailbone for the second time and, while I felt the effects during my pregnancy with #6, this time around it is noticeably worse.
But my physical pain is not what this post is about!
What I want to say about all of the above is that, in spite of the physical pain my pregnancies cause me, I could never truly complain because I know how very blessed we are to have been given the many children that we have.
Just the other night, as I was laying on the couch sobbing while my husband tried to massage the kinks out of my back, a little voice in my head said, "you know, this is probably a good sign that you shouldn't have any more kids." That same voice has been saying that same thing for several years now and in several situations: you're having financial issues--you should stop; you had a miscarriage--isn't that God telling you to stop?; you've filled up the biggest rig that normal people can buy--time to stop now!
I'm very familiar with this voice. Not only is it the voice of the concerned parent who worries about my health and sanity and the well-meaning friend who can't imagine herself in my place, but it's also the voice of the Enemy who would sow doubt into my mind and heart about the things that God really has called us to.
I don't for one minute believe that God has called every family to the lifestyle I live. He has a different plan and direction for each one of us and how we walk that out will differ from situation to situation. My point is not to debate God's will for the family. My point is to remind myself that this is what God has called me to. It's not always going to be easy.
The other day, I wrote about Paul's trials in prison here. One verse that struck me was this from 2 Corinthians 1:8-9: "For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."
While I've never actually "despaired of life itself", I've definitely had days where I wished for a different circumstance. When I'm not living in that despairing moment, I look back and it breaks my heart that I would desire anything else than the wonderful blessings God has given. However, I've had enough of those "days of despair" that I know those are the days in which I am called to "rely not on (my)self but on God". In the wise words of Ginny Owens, he "never said it would be easy, (he) only said I'd never go alone."
Today, as I go limping back down the hallway to serve my family and care for my home, I'm overwhelmed with a thankful heart that God, for some reason, has trusted me with this huge responsibility. Thank you, Jesus, for this family. Please remind me every day that it's purpose is to bring glory to you alone.
What are you thankful for? Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!
