Gratituesday: What Are You Thankful For Today?

It's Gratituesday...What are you thankful for?

I'm thankful everyday for my family---that's a given. But, as I've been in some serious physical pain these past few days, I've really been thinking on how very, very thankful I am that God has blessed us with the family dynamic that we have!

As most of my readers know, I'm due to have our seventh child any day now. During pregnancy, I usually suffer from some back pain, as well as pain in my sciatic nerve. However, this pregnancy has definitely been a rougher than normal one. After baby #5, I injured my tailbone for the second time and, while I felt the effects during my pregnancy with #6, this time around it is noticeably worse.

But my physical pain is not what this post is about!

What I want to say about all of the above is that, in spite of the physical pain my pregnancies cause me, I could never truly complain because I know how very blessed we are to have been given the many children that we have.

Just the other night, as I was laying on the couch sobbing while my husband tried to massage the kinks out of my back, a little voice in my head said, "you know, this is probably a good sign that you shouldn't have any more kids." That same voice has been saying that same thing for several years now and in several situations: you're having financial issues--you should stop; you had a miscarriage--isn't that God telling you to stop?; you've filled up the biggest rig that normal people can buy--time to stop now!

I'm very familiar with this voice. Not only is it the voice of the concerned parent who worries about my health and sanity and the well-meaning friend who can't imagine herself in my place, but it's also the voice of the Enemy who would sow doubt into my mind and heart about the things that God really has called us to.

I don't for one minute believe that God has called every family to the lifestyle I live. He has a different plan and direction for each one of us and how we walk that out will differ from situation to situation. My point is not to debate God's will for the family. My point is to remind myself that this is what God has called me to. It's not always going to be easy.

The other day, I wrote about Paul's trials in prison here. One verse that struck me was this from 2 Corinthians 1:8-9: "For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."

While I've never actually "despaired of life itself", I've definitely had days where I wished for a different circumstance. When I'm not living in that despairing moment, I look back and it breaks my heart that I would desire anything else than the wonderful blessings God has given. However, I've had enough of those "days of despair" that I know those are the days in which I am called to "rely not on (my)self but on God". In the wise words of Ginny Owens, he "never said it would be easy, (he) only said I'd never go alone."

Today, as I go limping back down the hallway to serve my family and care for my home, I'm overwhelmed with a thankful heart that God, for some reason, has trusted me with this huge responsibility. Thank you, Jesus, for this family. Please remind me every day that it's purpose is to bring glory to you alone.

What are you thankful for? Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

Black Beans and Rice...Mmmm!!!!

Black Beans and Rice
adapted from the MOMYS cookbook, courtesy of J. Wilson


I made this the other night and my family was so impressed! It's often a difficult thing to please eight people with the same meal, but even the baby enjoyed this one! The way I've written it out will serve 10-14 people so you may want to divide it or freeze half if you're not feeding that many!

*4 (15 oz.) cans black beans, drained
*2 cloves garlic, minced
*4 c. chicken broth (I used water and bouillon cubes...cheaper that way!)
*2-3 c. diced smoked beef sausage
*1 tsp. dried oregano, 1-2 tsp. cumin powder
*2 TBS. red wine vinegar
*8 c. cooked rice
**This recipe also calls for 1 diced onion and 1 diced green pepper but I did not add these to ours.

In a large stock pot, saute onion and bell pepper (if using) in oil until tender. Add garlic and ham and saute a few minutes longer. If you are not using the onion and pepper, just mix all ingredients (make sure meat is pre-cooked) except rice in a large stock pot and cook 1-1.5 hours. Stir occasionally. This will thicken the longer you cook it--especially if you leave the lid off. I left the lid on for the first half hour and then took it off for the rest. Serve over rice or mix cooked rice in at the end. This is good with cornbread or other country bread.

I've Got a New Look!!

Has everyone seen my new look? Thanks to Rachel at Bubbly Nature Creations, my blog is now the most adorable on the block! Check out her site for lots of cute ideas and please consider her the next time you need a refreshing new look for your blog. She's also got some great free craft tutorials and recipes posted there, as well as some tips on taking your own professional-looking photos on a budget!

Thanks, Rachel, for taking the time to make my blog so cute...I love it!

Am I Complete?

Colossians 2: 8-10: "Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power."

How many times do we go looking for someone or something to "complete" us? If we are single, we say we need a spouse to complete us. If we are married, we say we need children to complete us. After that, we start saying things like, "If only I...was not so overweight, would gain a little weight, didn't have this debt, had a cleaner home, owned my own place", etc.

We have this sense that we, in and of ourselves, are not enough. We know that we are lacking, so we go on a quest to lose the weight or adopt the newest organizational system or find the perfect spouse. So why, when we do finally accomplish these things, do we still feel the empty spot? Why do we immediately recognize the next big thing that needs to happen for us to feel complete?

The problem is that while we know that we are lacking--that we, in and of ourselves, are not enough--we are going in the wrong direction to find that fulfillment. Verse 9 says "in Christ dwells all the fullness of the Godhead"--the Three In One--the Trinity...and we are complete in Him. We have been cheated and lied to--and we have bought right in.

The Bible gives us a caution--that we wouldn't be cheated or deceived by the traditions of men or principalities of the world. Have we made the world's deceptions our truths? Has media and magazine covers become our gospel?

The funny thing about God is that He knows our hearts. He knows and understands that empty place where we feel the need for completion. What's more, He knows exactly what we need to fill it. We can find all we need in Him.

Even in Christ, completion won't come by forgiving our brother or cleaning up our act. Yes, those things are important and that time will come, but it can't come until Christ has our hearts. Completion and fullness in God must first take place in our hearts as we surrender everything to Him and ask Him to teach us and to work on us in His timing. Once this surrender to Christ is complete and we are being filled by Him, we will begin to emulate Him. People will begin to see Christ in us as we forgive our brother and get our act together one step at a time through Christ.

My challenge for myself and my readers today is to not accept the lies and traditions of the world. Instead, invite Christ to fill you with his truth and power and find completion in Him.

The Shroud of Turin: How Can We Be Sure?

I've always been a sucker for a great conspiracy theory. I think one of the most interesting legends of our time is The Shroud of Turin. According to www.shroud.com, "Modern science has completed hundreds of thousands of hours of detailed study and intense research on the shroud. It is, in fact, the most studied artifact in human history."

Many people over many hundreds of years have put faith in this burial cloth, believing it not only to be an authentic and miraculous transference of the image of a crucified man, but believing that man to be Jesus Christ.

Those who have studied it are divided as to the age of the cloth, the medium used to create the image (was it painted? miraculously transposed?), and the identity of the person pictured.

The Catholic church has taken a big leap of faith in allowing the Holy Face Medal to be depicted after the image of the man on the shroud. While they apparently don't take a solid position on the authenticity of the shroud, they've gone ahead and "approved of the image in association with the Roman Catholic devotion to the Holy Face of Jesus". I think they're making a pretty big assumption here. Not only have they made a graven image of a man that they're not so sure is really God (see Exodus 20:4: "You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth."), but they're ignoring what the New Testament has to say about the details surrounding Jesus' burial cloths.

Each of the gospels describes Jesus as having been buried in a linen cloth however, John gets very specific as he describes the Jewish custom of wrapping the body. John describes two cloths: a linen wrapping for the body and a separate cloth for the face:

"So Peter and the other disciple went forth, and they were going to the tomb. The two were running together; and the other disciple ran ahead faster than Peter and came to the tomb first; and stooping and looking in, he saw the linen wrappings lying there; but he did not go in. And so Simon Peter also came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the face-cloth which had been on His head, not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself" John 20:4-7.

This attention to detail shows us that the answers to the "mystery" of the Shroud of Turin have been in the Word all along. The Shroud is one piece of cloth showing a crucified man from head to toe. The Bible clearly shows us that this can not be the image of Christ as he was wrapped in more than one wrapping and his head was wrapped separately from the rest of the body.

What bothers me about all of this is not so much that there are still people out there debating the Shroud's "authenticity", but that this is the first time I've taken the time to open up my Bible and investigate the veracity of the myth for myself. The answers really are all there---if I'd take the time to find them!

Messianic Prophecy: Part Three

Tonight I studied a couple of Messianic Prophecies in the Old Testament book of Zechariah. The prophet Zechariah wrote about Messiah approximately 500 years before the birth of Christ.

I was especially blessed tonight by two specific prophecies found in this book.

Zechariah 9:9: Messiah would enter Jerusalem on a donkey
"Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; He is just and endowed with salvation. Humble, and mounted on a donkey. Even on a colt, the foal of a donkey."
This was fulfilled in Matthew 21:1-9. While reading the verse above, the critical voice in me spoke up to point out that Jesus, having been schooled with the rabbis from an early age, would have been familiar with this verse and could have found himself a donkey on which to ride into Jerusalem in order to fulfill the prophecy.
However, once I read the verses in Matthew, I became aware of two reasons why this prophecy can be taken for truth. For one thing, Matt. 21:2 tells us that Jesus sent two disciples on ahead to fetch the donkey and colt. The verse says, "Go into the village opposite you and immediately you will find a donkey tied there and a colt with her." God had revealed to Jesus where he would find a donkey on which to ride before he even got to town. Secondly, verse 9 says that the crowds were shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David; Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord; Hosanna in the Highest". There is no way that the prophet Zechariah, nor Jesus Himself, could have predicted how the crowd would react. Verse 8 says, "Most of the crowd spread their coats in the road." This tells us that at least the majority of the people were treating Him as royalty. This is especially significant as these are likely the same people who, only days later, were shouting, "Crucify him!" (Matt. 27:22-23)

Zechariah 11:12-13 Messiah would be betrayed for 30 pieces of silver
"I said to them, 'If it is good in your sight, give me my wages; but if not, never mind!' So they weighed out thirty shekels of silver as my wages. Then the Lord said to me, 'Throw it to the potter, that magnificent price at which I was valued by them'. So I took the thirty shekels of silver and threw them to the potter in the house of the Lord."
This portion of Zechariah is...weird. It's language and context definitely warrant more study! These verses actually point out two instances of fulfilled prophecy. First of all, Matt. 26:15 tells us that Judas accepted 30 shekels of silver to betray Jesus to the chief priests. Secondly, Matt. 27:5-10 tells us that is was unlawful for the chief priests to put blood money into the temple treasury. Therefore, after the guilt-ridden Judas threw the money back at them, they decided to use it to buy the Potter's Field as a burial place for strangers. Furthermore, Acts 1:18-20 seems to allude to the possibility that it was in this field that Judas committed suicide.
It's also important to point out that this isn't the only place in the Old Testament that discusses Jesus' betrayal. Psalm 41:9 says, "Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me."

Thank you, God, for revealing so much to your people so long before the events really took place. It's instances like these in the Old Testament that can help us to cement our faith in the New Testament and in Jesus as our Messiah!

Dreaming in Color

There’s a creative soul that’s been locked up inside of me. Today I intend to free her. I don’t know how long the emancipation process will last, but I have a feeling that she will emerge in the same manner that she was suppressed---slowly.

What is it that makes me feel like I can’t really write unless I’m in just the right atmosphere, wearing just the right clothes and using just the right instruments? Does this mean I’m not a “real writer”? Shouldn’t a “real writer” be able to pour out her heart through her pen at any given moment under any circumstances?

Why is it that I’m so excited to pick up my glasses this afternoon? It’s because I think they’ll make me look smarter---like I have something to contribute to this big world so full of knowledge already.

“There’s nothing new under the sun,” the good king once said. “There is no remembrance of earlier things; and also of the later things which will occur.” (Ecc. 1:9, 11) This verse reminds me of the comic strip my mom cut out for me recently. In it, a young mom calls her mother to tell her how she read online that if one were to take all the leftovers from one’s fridge, put them in a pot with water, and let it cook over the stove for a few hours, one could feed a family for several days. The mother responds, “Congratulations! You’ve discovered soup!”

I am not so foolish as to believe that everything that comes around has not already been around; however, I want to be one who discovers something new for my generation. I’m convinced that inside every wall, there’s a note left by it’s builder. Underneath every modern lawn, hides an old metal key or an etched glass button, or the other half of a long-since broken locket. I want to offer ideas that are fresh for my time. I want to be considered brilliant. I want to be taken seriously.

The other day, I refreshed my Facebook page to see the intelligent grin of my friend Amelia and her most recent wall post: “Just sitting here drinking tea and working on my novel.” I wanted to cry. (Later that morning, I did cry). Amelia is all I could be if I’d take opportunities instead of make excuses.

I whined to my mom about this a little later on that morning. She responded by listing all the people she could think of who’d recently come in to her store and told her what an awesome mom I am and how much they admire me.

So why can’t I be content and let these selfish passions be laid to rest? Why do I struggle between thinking they’re selfish passions on one hand and on the other hand, feeling like I’m allowing fear to hold me back from a calling?

In my heart, I believe it’s because God has made me in His image: the image of a creator. He has designed me to create---it’s in my soul.

Messianic Prophecy: Part One

There's six days until Easter and I'm thinking about some of the Old Testament prophecies about Jesus that have been fulfilled in the New Testament. I bet there's a lot of people who don't realize how many times the Old Testament talks about Messiah---or don't understand why that's even a big deal.

The big deal is that the most recent Old Testament book was written over 400 years before Christ was born---and many of them were written a thousand years or more before His birth. Scholars have estimated there to be around 300 Messianic prophecies in the Old Testament--many of them are contained in those books that are a thousand years older than the Messiah they reference. This is all a big deal because this gives us more evidence for a solid belief in the truth of the Bible and the truth of Jesus as the Messiah the Jews were looking for!

Tonight I took some time to study Psalm 22. This was written by David, right around 1,000 years before Jesus' birth. I've copied the Psalm in it's entirety at the end of this post for your reference. Here are some of the ways in which God speaks through David to describe the Messiah's death---each of these are things that Jesus actually experienced, 10 centuries later, on the cross:

*v. 22:1--"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus said this as He was dying on the cross. See Matthew 27:46.

*v. 22:6-7--"despised by the people, sneered at Him" The four New Testament gospels are full of instances where Jesus was despised by the people. In fact, when Pilate asked the crowd whether he should release the murderer Barabbas or Jesus, the crowd shouted for the release of Barabbas. Pilate asked them what evil He had done and they had no answer but to demand his crucifixion: see Luke 23:15-24.

*v. 22:8--"Commit yourself to the Lord; let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, because He delights in him". This is almost word for word what the mockers at the cross say in Matthew 27:43.

*v. 22:14--"poured out like water" Water poured from Jesus' side after the soldier stabbed him in John 19:34; "all my bones are out of joint" Imagine how Jesus' body was pulled out of joint as he was yanked around and fastened to the cross. Imagine how many places his arms were pulled out of joint as the weight of His body strained them once He was upright.

*v. 22:16--"They pierced my hands and my feet" The very act of crucifixion.

*v. 22:18--"They divide up my clothing/cast lots" This detail is interesting---I wonder if God just put it there as a minor issue to solidify this prophecy years later. This is mentioned in all four gospels: Matt 27:35; Mark 15:24; Luke 23:34 and John 19:24.

I hope this short study inspires you to do your own investigation and see what other Old Testament prophecies about Jesus you can find!

Psalm 22 (New American Standard Bible)

A Cry of Anguish and a Song of Praise.

For the choir director; upon Aijeleth Hashshahar. A Psalm of David.

¹My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.
²O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer;
And by night, but I have no rest.
³Yet You are holy,
O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel.
⁴In You our fathers trusted;
They trusted and You delivered them.
⁵To You they cried out and were delivered;
In You they trusted and were not disappointed.
⁶But I am a worm and not a man,
A reproach of men and despised by the people.
⁷All who see me sneer at me;
They separate with the lip, they wag the head, saying,
⁸"Commit yourself to the LORD; let Him deliver him;
Let Him rescue him, because He delights in him."
⁹Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb;
You made me trust when upon my mother's breasts.
¹⁰Upon You I was cast from birth;
You have been my God from my mother's womb.
¹¹Be not far from me, for trouble is near;
For there is none to help.
¹²Many bulls have surrounded me;
Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me.
¹³They open wide their mouth at me,
As a ravening and a roaring lion.
¹⁴I am poured out like water,
And all my bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It is melted within me.
¹⁵My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
And my tongue cleaves to my jaws;
And You lay me in the dust of death.
¹⁶For dogs have surrounded me;
A band of evildoers has encompassed me;
They pierced my hands and my feet.
¹⁷I can count all my bones.
They look, they stare at me;
¹⁸They divide my garments among them,
And for my clothing they cast lots.
¹⁹But You, O LORD, be not far off;
O You my help, hasten to my assistance.
²⁰Deliver my soul from the sword,
My only life from the power of the dog.
²¹Save me from the lion's mouth;
From the horns of the wild oxen You answer me.
²²I will tell of Your name to my brethren;
In the midst of the assembly I will praise You.
²³You who fear the LORD, praise Him;
All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him,
And stand in awe of Him, all you descendants of Israel.
²⁴For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted;
Nor has He hidden His face from him;
But when he cried to Him for help, He heard.
²⁵From You comes my praise in the great assembly;
I shall pay my vows before those who fear Him.
²⁶The afflicted will eat and be satisfied;
Those who seek Him will praise the LORD
Let your heart live forever!
²⁷All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD,
And all the families of the nations will worship before You.
²⁸For the kingdom is the LORD'S
And He rules over the nations.
²⁹All the prosperous of the earth will eat and worship,
All those who go down to the dust will bow before Him,
Even he who cannot keep his soul alive.
³⁰Posterity will serve Him;
It will be told of the Lord to the coming generation.
³¹They will come and will declare His righteousness
To a people who will be born, that He has performed it.

To Know, Know, Know Him (1 Corinthians 13 Concluded)

This is the final post (for now) in my series on 1 Corinthians 13. It is actually a repost from a couple of years ago but I thought it made a great conclusion!

So, tell me: When you read 1 Corinthians 13; you know, "Love is patient, love is kind...", how do you apply it to your own life? Do you immediately get struck with a sense of guilt right there at the beginning? Patient? Yeah, right...not with these kids... Or what about the next phrase, Love is kind...like as in how we should treat our spouses? Other drivers?

When I read through verses, 4-8 of that particular chapter, I always think of how I need to apply these verses to my interactions with my family and others around me.

But tonight, I saw it differently. Tonight, I inserted the name of Jesus...right there in all those places where it says "love". Just change it to Jesus and see what you come up with. More than that, end those phrases with your own name. Like this:

Jesus is patient with Sarah.
Jesus is kind to Sarah.
Jesus does not envy nor does he want Sarah to envy.
Jesus does not boast (although he does dance over Sarah).
Jesus is not proud (though he does take joy in his Creation, Sarah)
Jesus is not rude nor does he want Sarah to be rude.
Jesus is not self-seeking and he wants Sarah to be self-less too.
Jesus is not easily-angered nor does he want Sarah to be easily angered.
Jesus keeps no record of wrongs...even Sarah's wrongs.
Jesus does not delight in evil...nor should Sarah delight in evil.
Jesus rejoices with the truth...he wants Sarah to rejoice with the truth!
Jesus always protects Sarah.
Jesus always trusts God's Word and Promises for Sarah.
Jesus always hopes for Sarah.
Jesus always has and always will persevere for Sarah.
....and, best of all, Jesus will never fail Sarah.

Here's the part I always miss from that passage: verse 10: "but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." I never get to that part because I stop half way through the litany of love's characteristics. I stop because I am so overcome with my own inadequacy that it shames me and I know I can't ever be all those things that love is.

But wait a minute...when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears! When Jesus covers me and works through me I think I just might be able to be some of those things after all! By God's grace, we all have the ability to posses a clean slate any time we want to! We can make that imperfection disappear by asking Jesus to come with his perfection!

Can it really be that easy? Yes, it can. Because Jesus did the most difficult thing of all. He became sin for us so we could become the righteousness of God. He did the hard stuff so it could really be that easy for us. Let's not take that for granted!

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Eight

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 6: "Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth"

In this verse, I am again reminded of Jonah and his calling to the Assyrians of Ninevah. Let me just preface this by saying that the following thoughts are just a portion of what this verse could be saying--it's just a thought tangent and not meant to be a complete summation.

We read in the book of Jonah how the prophet was sent to Ninevah to warn the people of God's coming wrath. Even though God knew that Assyria would invade his people, Israel, in just 50 years' time, he sent Jonah with a message of truth and salvation anyway. That's the God of grace we serve.

Although the Bible doesn't give a specific reason why Jonah first avoided going to Ninevah, we get the impression that he didn't think they were worth saving. He knew they were a wicked people and it's obvious he didn't have a heart for them. I wonder if he even rejoiced in their unrighteousness? If he didn't think they were deserving of God's grace, then it's likely he put himself above them in importance. He even went so far as to become angry with God after God honored their repentant hearts by sparing the city.

Lucky for Ninevah, and for us, God rejoices in truth. He loves to see his children step into a realization of his love and purpose for their lives. God spared this evil city--even knowing that some of these same people would take part in Israel's destruction just a generation later--because of their acceptance of his truth.

How can we apply this verse in a practical way? Have you ever taken a secret joy in the misfortune of another? Really? You don't think so, huh? What about...

*the "perfect" daughter of a friend who becomes pregnant outside of marriage
*the snobby co-worker who walks around unknowingly with her skirt tucked in the back of her nylons?
*the obvious weight gain in your ex's new girlfriend?
*your "know-it-all" brother, sister, friend who gets caught cheating or lying or stealing
*that celebrity whose dirty laundry is aired all over the media

Any time we take pleasure in the unfortunate circumstances or the consequences of sin in the life of another--even if we think they deserved it--we are rejoicing in unrighteousness.

To truly love not just our neighbor but our enemy as well, (Matt. 5:43-48) we must lead them to truth and rejoice in their discovery of it. Why should I be any more deserving of the truth than any other human being? Christ died for all of us and his promises are true for everyone.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Seven

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 5: "Love is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered"

(cue Don Henley): I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter...but I think it's about forgiveness...

The first six parts of this study were done two years ago--and then I stopped. I'm not really sure what set me back but I think I got hung up on the meaning of this portion of verse 5. As I tried to make sense of it last night, I originally thought it meant, "don't provoke", but now that I've thought it through, what I think it's really saying is, "don't allow yourself to be provoked".

There are a couple of common sense reasons why this is important. First of all, if God is for me, what does it matter if anyone else is against me? Not that I don't get hurt when there's conflict in my life, but is it really worth it to respond to those who would provoke me? I've experienced the heartache that comes from casting my pearls before swine. Remember what your mama taught you: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Wait a minute!!! That's not true! Often times, words hurt worse than physical abuse. Words carry curses and reverberate through our heads for much longer than it takes for a bruise to heal.

This is where the next portion of the verse comes in. "(Love) does not take into account a wrong suffered". Forgiveness. Always forgiveness. What God has shown me in this verse is that if we'll keep an attitude of forgiveness--always forgiveness--then we'll automatically keep ourselves from being provoked.

If we commit to forgiving, even before the wrong is done, then when the provocation comes, God's love will be a barrier between us and the hurt. We'll be more concerned with the hurt inside the one provoking us than we will be about the hurt they are attempting to cause in us.

We can do this by practicing grace. If there's one thing the Lord gives us in abundance, it's His grace. If we are to be Christ-like, let's begin by extending that grace to everyone around us--most of all to those who, by their actions, seem the least deserving of it.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Six

This is part six in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 5a: "Love does not behave rudely"

So many times, I say something to my husband that is rude or bitingly sarcastic---and think later on how angry and hurt I would be if he said that to me. I don't know why I have more of a tendency toward rudeness and sarcasm. Is it a cover up to keep me from being vulnerable? Not once in His word is the Lord rude, sarcastic or belittling toward His people. He gives His love freely. I want to be free of sarcasm and rudeness today.

Help me, God, to be merciful, patient and kind---these three traits will help me keep rudeness at bay.

v. 5b "Love does not seek its own"

I have read this verse so many times, but it was only recently that it really made sense--that I understood it according to my own experience. Love does not seek its own. Love does not go looking for love. It is selfless--it is not looking out for number one.

Love isn't conditional. I have put up so many walls and sabotaged many good times with an attitude that says, I won't give to you unless I'm sure you'll give to me. I don't want to risk looking stupid or being vulnerable when it turns out that I was the only one interested in making up. However, all I'm expressing with this attitude is that I am not seriously interested in showing my love to the other person. If I was, then their response wouldn't be a factor in whether or not I did.

I am reminded of a song by Sara Groves called Roll to the Middle:

We just had World War II here in our kitchen.
We both thought the meanest things and then we both said them.
We shot at each other till we lost ammunition.
This is how I know our love.
This is when I feel it's power.
Here in the absence of it,
This is my darkest hour.
When both of us are hunkered down,
And waiting for the truce.
All the complicated wars, they end pretty simple:
Here when the lights go out, we roll to the middle.
No matter how my pride resists,
No matter how the wall feels true,
No matter how I can't be sure that you're goona roll in too,
No matter what, no matter what,
I'm goona reach for you.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Five

This is part five in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 4c: "Love does not brag and is not arrogant"

Many times, I've questioned my motives: am I doing this for me or for others? I seem to have a real need to be seen, to be acknowledged. It seems like I tend to find my worth in other people's affirmations of me. This used to be so bad when I was younger that it became debilitating. There were a lot of things that I wanted to say or do but didn't because I was afraid of how others would perceive me. I think this fear has turned around a lot lately but I still find myself, every now and then, basing my decisions on how others will react. I don't want to be in the background---I want to be in the spotlight! But love doesn't parade itself---what are my motives?

Do I want to glorify God or Sarah? I don't need to parade a servant's heart. If my heart is truly to serve, I will do so whether or not anyone is looking. If I am to give, I don't need to tell everyone that the gift came from me. The Lord sees everything and He rewards justly. But, am I doing these things solely for a reward? No--I must do them with the heart of God.

Lord, give me a desire to serve and to give--without regard to how many jewels you will put in my crown.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Four

This is part four in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 4b: "Love does not envy"

Love is not covetous. I can't look at someone else's situation and covet it and have bad feelings toward that person. I should be happy for them because the grass is not always greener on the other side. To be envious of someone else is to slap the Lord in the face. It is telling Him that the blessings He has given me are not enough. The Lord would have me to be thankful and content. He made me an individual--unique. Why should I envy another creation?

Ps. 139:13-18: "For You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed. And in your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You."

He loves me! I need not be envious. I can love others and rejoice with those who rejoice! He has given each of us gifts, talents and blessings. I want to look for the wonderful things in my own life!

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Three

This is part three in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v. 4a: "Love is patient, love is kind"

The best example of this verse in action that comes to mind is an experience I had during a Women's Ministry planning retreat a couple of years ago. Our leader really embodied the heart of this verse as she displayed such a Godly response and attitude toward the nine different personalities spending the weekend together. I will always remember the grace with which she led our group those couple of days and will hopefully be able to apply her wisdom to my own life.

One thing that really stood out to me was that she said we weren't on any kind of a solid, rigid schedule. There were some things that we needed to accomplish and she was the type of person to just get in there and get the job done, but she couldn't expect everyone else to be that way. She was so patient with all of us--and very kind--as we found all kinds of distractions and off-topic discussions to engage in. What started out one morning as a planning session, quickly turned into a "tell me your life story" session and was followed by a 3 or 4 hour shopping break. Our planning session that was originally "scheduled" as an all-day thing turned into a quick hour and a half thing late on the night before we left. It was obvious that her response to us came from a heart that desired to wait on God and let him have control--not an insecure and fearful heart that needed to be controlling. This is a concept that I really need to apply in my own life.

There are nine different personalities in my home. Though I can take full responsibility for my own self, and I have a good deal of control over the kids at this point, there is one here, my husband, whom I have no control over (though I've desperately tried!!). When I want to see change in my relationship with my husband, I need to be patient and trust that the Lord is working on us both. God has a process, just as much as he has a plan, for our lives. I need to wait on God more and to be still and trust that everything is always in his hands.

Sometimes I think on the unkind things that I say to my kids or to my husband and think that if they ever talked to me "that way" that I'd never put up with it. Again, it comes back to a lack of love and an attempt at controlling the situation. As long as I am trying to manipulate and control, God will have nowhere to move. I am stifling my family and keeping them from growing by insisting I have everything "my way". I'm sure everyone on the planet would love to be in complete control of everything that goes on around them--but I know I'd sure be lonely. How would I ever know if someone truly loved me or was happy to spend time with me? How would I know they weren't just doing it because I made them?

That is how the Lord works with us. He doesn't take complete control, otherwise it'd be impossible for us to know whether we truly loved Him or whether we were just taking all the right steps to appease a controlling God. I want to make room for all the personalities in my family to flourish. This can be done in an environment where we are all kind and patient with each other.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part Two

This is part two in a study I did on 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v.2: "If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

If I don't examine my heart to make sure the motive is love, it's all for nothing. I don't think (and I could be wrong) God is going to take away a gift he has given me. It doesn't matter how rotten I am, I will still have the gift because he created it in me. However, Chapter 12 tells me that God's gifting in me is not for my benefit, but for the benefit of all: "but the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all," (1 Corinthians 12:7).

These gifts are only correctly used one way--they are beneficial when covered in love and humility. It is not up to me to decide who is worthy to receive the benefits of the gifts God has placed in me. I can't sit in judgement over my sister or brother and say, "you wouldn't understand" or "you aren't spiritually mature enough for this". (Think: Jonah!!)

I need to freely function in the gifting and faith that God has given me, pouring it out as he directs, and with the love and humility that accompanies God's gifting, the Holy Spirit can use me as his tool.

v. 3: "And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."

Without love, all my "acts of service" are nothing but reasons to boast. Without love, I can't be giving with a truly sacrificial heart--a sacrificial heart is a loving heart, a selfless heart. Again, what is my motive?

It's Time to Grow Up! Part One

A couple of years ago, I did a study on the first few verses of 1 Corinthians 13. While going through an old journal tonight, I was reminded of how much it blessed me and thought I'd share some of it here.

1 Corinthians 13 is basically a study on the selflessness of love. It is a challenge to me asking: What are my motives?

v.1: "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

It doesn't matter if I know all the jargon and lingo to sound like a mature, loving Christian; if my heart is not right, if the motive for the words is not to encourage, uplift and bless someone, then all that "Christianese" is just a brassy, clanging noise.

I used to sing on the worship team at our previous church and I'd sometimes find myself getting into "puffed-up mode". Then I'd catch myself and imagine God making my voice sound high, squeaky and off-key. Like the Emperor and his New Clothes, I'd imagine that I was going along on my merry way, thinking that I sounded so wonderful--when all the time, I'd disrupted the entire service with my clanging voice and didn't even realize it!

If I'm not tuned into the Lord, I will never hear or recognize him admonishing me to "add to (my) faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, and to knowledge self-control," (2 Peter 1:5-6) because His divine power has given to (me) all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called (me) by glory and virtue," (v.3).

Without love, virtue, and knowledge of God, I can not be self-controlled enough to turn the glory back to Him and "escape the corruption" (v.4) that is the result of my "lusting" after that glory.

I Bought My Husband Ecstasy For Christmas

Well, it's been a really interesting month as our family has settled into our new home in the Pacific Northwest. At the beginning of January, my husband was transferred to the town of Mount Vernon, Washington---just north of Seattle. There have been many new things that I've had to become used to---several funny stories that I will write about soon. However, today's incident tops them all.

Early this morning, after my husband left for work, I was picking up the living room a little when I discovered a round, white pill on the floor near the entryway. Upon examination, I found that it had a tulip design stamped into both sides and it was about the size of an M&M. I wondered if it had just gotten tracked in as my husband works in a big mall and could have got it caught in the tread of his work shoes. But then again I thought, his shoes are flat on the bottom. Then I remembered a few months ago when a co-worker had sent him home with some sort of calcium-citrus tablets that were supposed to be helpful for alleviating cold symptoms. "Perhaps it's just something he got from a co-worker," I reasoned, "for headaches or something". I was trying to get started on the kids' school work for the day so I just set it up on the bookshelf to ask him about later.

Later this afternoon, I was just dingin' around waiting to start dinner and had a few minutes to do a little research on the mysterious pill. I Googled "white pill tulip" and was shocked to find page after page on the drug, Ecstasy!!!

One page had a picture of the EXACT pill I had sitting here---just with a slightly bluer tint to it. As I read through the different sites, the information given seemed to indicate that the "manufacturers" of these pills put different stamps on them--sometimes they can serve as an indicator of what is in the pill and other times they can indicate the location from which the pill was obtained.

This little bit of information FREAKED ME OUT!! You see, we've moved to an area that has been deemed one of the great tulip capitols of the world!! Mount Vernon hosts an annual tulip festival in April and is even home to the 2010 World Tulip Summit! What better logo for a local ecstasy pill than a happy little tulip!

As I continued my research, I found that many Ecstasy pills will have a slight mint smell to them. As my heart raced with the fear of discovering the obvious truth of what this little pill inevitably would turn out to be, I picked it up and gave it a sniff.

Sure enough! This horrible little intrusion to my happy, Christian home had a very distinct smell---Vanilla Mint!!

The idea that my husband had accidentally tracked it in was immediately thrown out---I was furious! Surely someone at work was playing a joke on him! The scenario began to play through my head. I pictured my poor, hard-working husband developing one of his regular migraine headaches and asking his co-workers if anyone had something he could take for the pain. I could see these slick and scheming city guys chuckling in the corner of the kiosk---"let's play a joke on the new country boy!" One of them slyly pulling out part of his clubbing stash and offering it to my naive and unsuspecting husband. Thank God, I thought, that he intervened and kept Jamie from actually taking it!!!!

Relief mixed with the fear of what "could have been" began to settle me down a little and I set the pill on top of my desk so I could make sure and educate him when he got home on the dangers of taking unknown drugs. I planned to show him all the sites I'd found and talk to him about how important it is that we remember: we're not in Eastern Oregon anymore. There are DANGERS here!!!

I headed to the kitchen to make dinner, determined not to dwell on the possible horrible scenarios that could have taken place had one of the kids gotten a hold of it. I really wanted to sit and write in my blog tonight and didn't want this worry hampering my creative thoughts from flowing.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the realization of what was really going on hit me. Co-workers, I thought. I remembered that last Sunday night, my husband had gone to a friends' house to practice medieval sword-fighting. A CO-WORKER friend. When he came home that night, he had explained to me the reason why he was a little late---the friend had given him a couple extra lessons since he wouldn't be available to teach this coming week.

There has to be more to this, I thought. My husband isn't naive. In the twelve years we'd been together, we'd switched character traits as he went out into the world to work and I stayed home with the kids. He knows a lot more about this world than I do...surely he'd recognize a drug for what it is. Panicking, I texted him: "You need to take a break and call me NOW!!!" For the next hour and a half I couldn't think straight. I just sat here at my computer Googling and Googling. I began planning the trip to my mom's that the kids and I would have to take to give my husband time to "think about" this new lifestyle and whether it was really worth it. I considered going through and deleting all my searches on Ecstasy as they would only prove incriminating when he was busted for drugs. No way, I thought, the jerk deserves it.

I went back to the computer and picked up the pill, examining it very closely. A small little twinkling of hope was nagging to get through my thoughts of a shattered life and a destroyed family. There's a stem, I observed. A stem with two leaves and a top petal-sort-of-thingy. However, a real close look at the devilish device made me aware of something I really hadn't noticed before. The leaves were sort of jagged along the edges. And the petals---they were sort of jagged too---and really rather leaf-shaped. Really, the more I looked at the thing, the more it looked like the image of a cluster of mint leaves.

Actually, this image does seem sort of familiar, I thought. Just then, the phone rang---it was my husband.

"Umm...did you maybe happen to drop one of your mints this morning?"

"No," he answered.

*Blink*, there went that little twinkling of hope.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well," I continued, "What do they look like?"

"Round," he answered, "Why?"

Ignoring his question: "And sort of the size of an M&M?"

"Yes."

"And do they have something stamped on them?"

"Yeah...like a mint leaf. Why?" By this time he was getting really irritated with my obviously interrogating tone.

"Yeah, but does it look sorta like a tulip?" I asked, desperately.

"Yeah, I guess. WHY? Oh wait," he said, realization dawning on him, "did you find it in the bedroom?"

"No, by the front door."

"Oh, ok well I had dropped one in the bedroom while I was getting ready for work and couldn't find it on the floor anywhere. It must have fallen in the cuff of my pants and then onto the floor later on. I'll show you what they look like when I get home. I promise, I'm not turning into a druggie!"

Finally, it dawned on me where I'd seen that little "tulip" stamp before. It was on the tin of Starbucks mints that I'd put in his stocking a couple months ago for Christmas.

Wordless Wednesday

This is a picture my husband took recently as we drove through a nearby neighborhood in Northern Washington.