Compassion, Not Condemnation: Compassion Part Five

This is part five of a study on showing compassion to the unsaved.  Part One can be found here, Part Two is here, Part Three is here, and Part Four is here. 

When we understand and acknowledge what Christ did for us, we can extend that same compassion to others.   

Romans 5:6-8 says, "For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

We are called to compassion.  1 Peter 3:8-9 reads, "Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another;  love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."

When speaking of the unsaved, the Bible calls them "sinners".  While we all sin on a daily basis, Christian or not, the distinction is made between those who will die in their sin because they've refused to accept Jesus as their savior (sinners), and those who are forgiven their sins when they ask with a repentant heart and will live eternally with Jesus (the saved).  So how did Christ treat sinners?

Matthew 23: 27-28: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

During a sermon a couple months ago, our pastor said, "His scorn wasn't for sinners, it was for the religious self-righteous."

The Pharisees were equivalent to the hypocritical believers of today.  We can turn up our noses at the Pharisees' behavior, but how many times have we appeared beautiful and "having it all together" on the outside when we were actually dead and unclean on the inside?  Jesus despises the "Christian on the fence".

Revelation 3:15-16 says, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."

Sometimes associating with a Christian who is sinning (walking in blatant sin but still claiming to follow Christ) can be a bigger danger than hanging out with an unbeliever.  The "Christian's" sins seem less obvious and we are quick to make excuses for them.  We are also quicker to forgive them than we are unbelievers.  Should there be a distinction?

When Jesus encountered the unsaved, he showed them compassion---not condemnation!

Luke 19:10: "for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

John 3:17: " For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

This article was featured in Issue 54 of The Christian Home magazine.

Linking with: Faith Talking Tuesdays @ AudraSilva.com

A Special Day --- Homemaking Link-Up Weekend & Pink Saturday

Welcome to my Pink Saturday friends!  I'm excited to be Beverly's Featured Blogger today! 

Check out Pink Saturday---what a blessing that community has been to me!

It's been a happy week around the Coller house!  Miss Avalon Grace turned 3 years old on Thursday!

We did a Raggedy Ann theme.

It's always a special day when Grandma Christy comes to visit!

I made Avalon this cute Raggedy Ann tote bag for her books!

In other news, sweet Kynthia Joy is just about crawling!

And...I got some cool mail!  Check out this envelope dressed up like a tea bag...adorable!

I got this sweet bunch of goodies from harleygirl at Just a Country Girl.  I first met her through SwapBot.com and she's since become a good blogging friend too!  Thanks so much for bringing a little spring to my front door!  Take a minute, if you can, and stop by her blog to say Hi!

Did you know my March Giveaway Jubilee is going on RIGHT NOW?  Did you know I'm giving away 4 great prizes (one of them being a Etsy-wide gift certificate)!!  There are others who are offering giveaways too and more will join up throughout the month. Click the button below to check it out and YOU could be a winner! :) 

So...now it's time for the Homemaking Link-Up Weekend!  Several people have asked me if their post "counts" as homemaking.  When I set up this party, I tried to pick a very broad topic.  To me, anything you do that has even the remotest connection to your home/family/food/gifts/yard/crafts ETC is acceptable.  In fact, anything is acceptable...as long as it's not X-rated!  So, join up! I'd love to have you! Also linking with:

The Separation Mentality --- Compassion, Part Four

This is part four of a study on showing compassion to the unsaved.  Part One can be found here, Part Two is here, and Part Three is here. 

In this fourth posting on showing compassion to the unsaved, I want to share with you a third reason why Christians aren't quick to give that grace to those who don't know Jesus.  It's something called the "Separate Yourself" mentality and many of us use it as an excuse to "get out" of "having" to witness to those around us. 


2 Corinthians 6:14, 17 says: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" and "Therefore,  'Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.'"

But then, Matthew 28:19-20 says, "'Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.' Amen."

So, isn't that a contradiction?  Actually, no.  While it's true that we are to be set apart from those who do not live their lives according to God's Word, there is a difference between the "unequal yoke" of 2 Corinthians and the command to go out into the world and make disciples that Matthew is speaking of.  We can't be very good witnesses if we are so far set apart that we have no unsaved people in our acquaintance or circle of influence.  The "yoke" is a joining together: a covenant and strong commitment; such as a marriage or a close friendship.  You can only get so close with an unbelieving friend before the issue of religion gets in the way.

We can be separate but still be witnesses of Jesus' love and character.  In John 17: 14-18, Jesus prays concerning the disciples: "I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world."

In fact, by befriending non-believers, (keeping boundaries and self-control in place) we can actually be a positive influence and show Christ's love without initially saying a whole lot.  The Good Samaritan story is a great example of love and compassion in action (Luke 10:25-37).  While none of his words are recorded, the Good Samaritan is remembered by his actions.  Read John 13:34-35: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."  They will know we are Christians by our love!  This relationship built on good character and honest love for our neighbor will open doors for dialogue in the future.

This post was featured in The Christian Home magazine, Issue #52.

Give Them A Break!

Brotherly Love at the Coller House

2 Corinthians 5:12-21:

¹² For we do not commend ourselves again to you, but give you opportunity to boast on our behalf, that you may have an answer for those who boast in appearance and not in heart. ¹³ For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; or if we are of sound mind, it is for you. ¹⁴ For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; ¹⁵ and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.

¹⁶ Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. ¹⁸ Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, ¹⁹ that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

²⁰ Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. ²¹ For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

One of the well-known "new believer" verses is 2 Corinthians 5:17:  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation..."  This is a compelling thought, but do we always treat one another as if that thought were true?

I think that we are hesitant to extend brotherly love and kindness to some of God's new creations if we are familiar with how they were in their "former life".  It can be difficult to imagine that angry father, alcoholic mother, or partying brother as a new creation, once they've received Christ and begun to change their ways.

However, we have been given the "ministry of reconciliation" and because God doesn't hold our repented-for trespasses against us, then who are we to hold others' against them?  

Christ reached out to us with a spirit of forgiveness and a desire for restored relationship.  We can honor God by doing the same to those around us who are looking forward to a fresh start in Christ.

In the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4:1-26, (read it...come back...) we are especially moved by verse 24:  "those who worship Him must worship in spirit and in truth."  Are those newly-saved, not-quite-squeaky-clean loved ones around us worshipping in spirit and in truth?  God will deal with the details in time.  Before anything else, God desires that hearts are his.  Don't be a stumbling block with a self-righteous attitude.  Join that loved one in authentic worship---you might learn something!

Truly, those around us who are making the good attempt to live Godly lives don't really need our approval!  They'll be just fine without us cramming our opinions down their throats.  Read this excerpt from Romans 3:

^"21 But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, ²² even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all^[a] who believe. For there is no difference; ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, ²⁵ whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, ²⁶ to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."

In verses 22-23, we are reminded:  "For there is no difference;  for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  Verse 26 points out that Jesus is the justifier of those who have faith in Him!

In God's eyes, our levels of sinfulness (high) and levels of worthiness (non-existent) are all the same---no matter how long we've walked with God!  "For you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:26-29).   

Rather than focusing on others' specks, thorns, and thistles, let's focus on putting this last verse into practice with everyone around us---no matter how new they are to the faith:  "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."  (Colossians 4:2-6)

This article was printed in The Christian Home magazine, Issue 47. 

 

Don't Misplace God's Glory

You know on Charlotte's Web, at the end, when everyone is singing the praises of Wilbur the pig: "He's Some Terrific, Radiant, Humble, Thing-a-Majig Of a Pig"... Well, I was contemplating that song recently, and realized something. It's not the pig who is terrific, radiant, humble, for crying out loud---it's the spider!!! The pig did absolutely nothing to make himself praiseworthy---it was Charlotte, his spider friend, who used all her gifts and abilities to make him shine. Did anyone ever think to give glory to the spider? Nope, she just gave birth to her most magnificent masterpiece...and then died. Talk about humility...

So, it got me (eventually) thinking about Hebrews 11. In this chapter, we find the Hall of Faith...all the great men and women of renown and all their worthy accomplishments in the name of faith. Not to discount these honorable brothers and sisters in the faith---but don't we see some liars here? Some murderers? Adulterers? I mean, when we look really closely, the things that make these people worth remembering are all the things that the Lord did in their lives by His power and covenant with them. It is nothing that they did on their own. They would be unmentionable nobodies---runts doomed to death---if it weren't for the Lord.

Now, I don't want to make a big deal out of what is meant to be an innocent and lighthearted story, I'm just using Wilbur's tale as an example.  We are warned about this practice of giving glory where glory isn't due in Romans 1:25 where Paul mentions the people "who exchanged the truth for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever."  


Sometimes God's glory can be misplaced and misunderstood.  The Lord does wonderful things through us and, often times, those around us see these wonderful things and begin to think highly of us.  It's fine for us to talk up our spouses or brag on our kids---as long as we ultimately give the glory back to God.  It can be something as simple as replacing, "My husband is so awesome.  He found this great job and is the best employee on his team," with something like this: "God is so awesome!  He blessed my husband with this great job and has helped him become a valuable member of his team."


Our family struggles with receiving misplaced glory a lot.  Our kids are well-behaved and converse well and politely with people of any age. My husband and I love each other and are one another's best friend---and it shows.  Our home is clean and welcoming.  Sometimes we feel like Wilbur, as those who see us from the outside tell us how great we are.  We have a responsibility to give that glory back to God, as we would have nothing and be nothing if it weren't for God's blessings in our lives.  Blessings we've done nothing to earn---but blessings, nonetheless.

I'm sure that many honorees in God's "Hall of Faith" would not have ever imagined that they would be known in history as faithful, loyal, Godly men and women.  Paul also tells us in Romans 3:23 that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  Even though we all mess up and find ourselves in less-than-honorable situations, isn't it wonderful that we have the opportunity to ask Jesus to cover us, restore us and set us up in His Hall of Faith as well!


From now on, when I think of these "great men and women of faith", I'll remember that they are only known as "great" because of the One who lives in them---the only true Great One, Jesus!

This post was published in Issue #45 of The Christian Home magazine. 

(1/18) Linking With:  

Kids' First Stitches Display Project

This year's Christmas was a crafty Christmas at our house.  Each of the older kids (5 to 11) asked for different items for crafting.  Lynzie, 11, received some supplies for ribbon embroidery, a book on how to make stuffed animals from the Peter Rabbit series, and a bunch of yarn and Aida cloth for various projects. 

Cainan, 7, really wanted to learn to cross stitch so he got a starter box of needed things for that. Elisha, 8, has been begging me to teach him to sew, so he got a box of sewing supplies and a promise to raid my box of scraps.  I wanted to teach Selah, 5, to stitch a straight line, so we got her a small sewing kit as well.

Here is Selah working on her first stitching project!  I drew lines on a piece of cloth and she stitched along each one of them.  After that, I wrote her name and she stitched over that too!  She has really enjoyed practicing on her little pieces of cloth---the other day she taught herself to sew on a button!

I used the same idea with Elisha.  He stitches like a pro now!

After Elisha finished his first little sampler, he was ready to move on to making a pillow!  This has been a dream of his for most of this last year!  I'll post pictures when he gets all done with it.

My husband, Jamie, bought me this pretty scrapbooking paper for Christmas---it's Victorian themed.  I made this display to show off the kids' hard work and stitched the words, "First Stitches" along the bottom.  You can click on the picture to see it more closely.  I plan on using this paper in several projects this winter and spring, as I transition our home out of Christmas decorations!

Linking with:  

Show Off Your Cottage Monday @ The House in the Roses

Peaceful Changes

A few days ago, I blogged about my New Year's Resolutions.  I told you how my main goal this year is to not do things that I don't want to do.  Of course, we all know that this is an impossible task, but let me clarify:

I, like most well-meaning women, have a tendency to take on way too much more than I can handle.  In my effort to do all the things I think God wants me to do, I end up doing a lot of things that he doesn't want me to do and I put off the things that he really does want me to do.  (Does this remind anyone of a Bible passage?  Romans 7:15, perhaps?)

This year, I'm resolving to stick to the plan:  God's plan.

God has created me to be a wife and a mother.  He has called me to homemaking and homeschooling.  He is encouraging me to prepare healthy meals for my family, to keep my home clean and beautiful, and to use the knowledge, creativity, and talents that he has given me to bless my husband and children.

God usually uses the Godly people in our lives to help encourage us in our walk with Him.  I have been blessed to find Godly counsel right here in my own home.  First and foremost, my husband is more than happy to help me find direction and steer me clear of things that would distract me from God's priorities for me.  Just yesterday he helped me out of an overwhelming task that I had taken on without first consulting neither the Lord nor him.

Secondly, God has led me to some very inspiring bloggers who have been springboards for positive changes.  You will see some of them listed on my sidebar under "Blogs That Inspire Me to Greatness".

Mrs. Jennie Chancey of Sense and Sensibility Patterns gave me the idea to honor my marriage by using my married "title", Mrs. Sarah Coller.  Another thing I did to honor my husband's name was to buy napkins monogrammed with a letter C at Christmas time.

This morning, I read a post by Darlene of Time-Warp Wife on boosting self-discipline.  One really great tip that I implemented today with great success, was to put a notepad and pen in my apron pocket for writing down notes throughout the day.  It really helped me not to stress out this morning as I came across things I keep forgetting to do---I just wrote them down and put them out of my mind!  My husband said this would serve to help me not get distracted as well.  I can continue with the task I'm on and just make a note to do the "distraction" later.

A third blog is my most favorite blog of all, The Legacy of Home.  I value that blog so much that I've made it my homepage!  Just about every morning, I wake up to Mrs. White's encouraging wisdom regarding running the kind of home that I desire and being the wife and mother that I want to be.  I've taken a couple of her ideas for making my kitchen a place that I desire to work in.  I recently rearranged my counters to make room for a pretty little lamp that I turn on in the evenings while I'm doing my kitchen work.  I also asked my husband for, (and received!) a kitchen stereo for Christmas.  Now I can listen to uplifting or soothing music while going about my kitchen responsibilities.  It's getting to be a really relaxing place to be!  Next, I'm going to make pretty tags for my canisters from the Victorian paper that Jamie got me for Christmas.  Then I want to paint the antique dresser that I've got in there that is holding my aprons and other kitchen supplies.  I even saw a blog recently where a girl had tole painted her microwave!  Hmmm.....maybe!

A final change that is blessing our family is the changes we're making to our diet.  My friend, Krystal from A Blessed Journey has been posting about some of the nutritious things she's been making her family and it's inspired us to get healthily creative in the kitchen too!

I hope you'll take the time to check out some of these blogs that I've mentioned here.  Maybe you'll be inspired too!

I'm praying God's blessings on you and your family today!

Best Friends --- Homemaking Link-Up Weekend

I've got some great PINKS in my Etsy shop for Christmas! This French Ballerina Pillow would be a sweet gift for someone---like yourself!

How about some PINK wrapped carmels?  I also wrap them in gold and red!  Visit my shop today to order lots of yummy treats!

I had every intention on doing a great Christmas decoration themed post tonight but, as I was going through my pictures, I found these and just had to share them!

Our oldest son, Michael, celebrated his 10th birthday on December 3rd.  On Tuesday, he had his best friend Jonathan come and stay the night for a friend party.  L-R: Michael, Jonathan, Elisha, Cainan, Selah, Avalon (all are ours except Jon)

He was pretty excited with the Nerf-like gun that Jonathan gave him!

The thing I just love about these guys is that they treat each other with such kindness.  They are true friends and show Jesus' love to each other whenever they're together.  It is such a joy to have Jonathan over and Michael is such a kind boy.

Michael is the kind of kid who just loves life.  He's loving and patient with all his other seven siblings and does his best to please his Daddy and I.

Happy Birthday dear little boy!

Please feel free to link up your homemaking-related posts here!  Homemaking Link-Up Weekend runs every weekend from late Thursday night until late Sunday night!

Also linking to:
L.A.C.E. @ Lily-Rose Cottage
Beverly's Pink Saturday

Lynzie's Colonial Dress and Homemaking Link-Up Weekend!

Hello everyone, it's the weekend! Woot!  Woot!  

Welcome to the Homemaking Link-Up Weekend here at Hope In Every Season.  I'm so excited to report that last week, my very first week hosting the party, was a total success!  As promised, I've chosen a couple of participants to feature who especially blessed me with their posts.  I'll introduce you to Lydia and Mary Joy in just a moment!

Today, I'm sharing the sweet Colonial-style dress that I made for my daughter, Lynzie, a couple months ago.  

I love this pattern and have made several dresses for her with it over the last few years.  She wanted an outfit to look just like the American Girl doll, Felicity Merriman, from 1776.  We made her a mob cap from a simple pattern I found online.

We made a shawl from a curtain I found at Salvation Army.  There was even enough fabric for a shawl for each of her three sisters!  (and thirty more sisters!!)

We had two little munchkins, Avalon, 2, and Liam, 1, hiding behind the scenes during our photo shoot...

Lynzie, 11, and Michael, 9, are headed to the Oregon state piano recital this Saturday in Albany and they're very excited!  Here they are on the day of the local recital in which they placed as alternates to State.  Since one winning team was not able to go, our kids get to go in their place!

 We are so proud of our sweet kids, but not so much because they're excellent piano players.  Each one of our children is kind, compassionate, creative, honest, and striving to live a life that is pleasing to God in the state of maturity that they're in.  What a blessing our eight children are to us!

Here are a couple other blessings I'd like to make mention of:

First, I'd like to introduce you to Lydia of The Vintage Mama.  Lydia linked up to my Homemaking Link-Up Weekend last weekend and shared with us her great ideas for cooking with Pumpkin Puree.  Some of my favorites included great recipes for Pumpkin Spice Coffee Creamer and Pumpkin Spiced Rice.  I was especially excited to hear that she's had success freezing pureed pumpkin because I've got a honkin' one on my porch now that needs to be taken care of!  Be sure and stop by real quick to read the rest of her ideas and tell her you read about her here on Hope In Every Season!

Secondly, I "met" a lovely lady this week who has written such inspiring and uplifting posts this week!  I could just read her blog for hours and come away feeling so blessed!  Make sure and stop by Learning to Live a Surrendered Life to meet Mrs. Mary Joy Pershing and spend some time being encouraged by her thoughtful writing!

Hope everyone has plans for fun and relaxation this weekend!  Be sure and link up your home-related posts below and grab my button at the top of my sidebar to remind you to come back every week!  It can be anything having to do with homemaking:  crafts, recipes, DIY, even just telling us about a piece of your life like I've done today!  

Also linking up to:

Show and Tell Friday @ My Romantic Home 
Thrifty Things Friday @ The Thrifty Groove 

Weight Loss Giveaway Game

September 13, 2011

Been here before?  Scroll down for updates...

When I lose, YOU could win!

Now that Kynthia is 6 weeks old, it's time for me to crack down on the weight loss issue!  Gotta try and lose some of this baby weight before the next baby comes along...Ha! 

I thought I'd try something fun to motivate me to keep working at it.  I love to create little things here and there, but sometimes have a hard time finding an occasion.  So...I'm going to offer a giveaway gift every time I lose 5 pounds!  Here's how it will work:

*Visitors (that's you!) will leave comments on THIS POST.  

*Whenever I lose another 5 pounds, I'll draw a number and the corresponding commenter will win the giveaway gift for that round.  

*You can leave as many unique and meaningful comments as you'd like on as many days as you'd like.  I will update my progress and journal my feelings/thoughts/accomplishments/struggles on this post.  (I'll just keep editing it to add an update)  **clarification:  by saying "unique and meaningful", I just mean, please don't copy and paste your comment over and over for more entries.  Yes, people do this!)

*Second, third and fourth drawings will be held at the same time as each 5 pound drawing when I meet the following further goals:  1. drinking adequate water daily, 2. staying within my eating plan daily, 3. doing some sort of physical activity daily.

I'm hoping the combination of your encouraging comments and my desire to create a little something will motivate me to lose a little of this extra weight this fall!  Keep in mind that the giveaway gift will be small---but it will just be a little something to say THANK YOU for encouraging me along the way!

So, start leaving your comments now...and please bookmark the page so you can come back and hold me accountable! Ha!

Have a great day!

September 30, 2011

 So, it's been a little while and I thought I should give an update!  I've definitely had a rough time of it!  I got down to just a half a pound away from my first 5 pounds...and then gained again!  :(  I'm on a pretty good track this weekend though, so hopefully I'll be checking in soon with a good loss!

October 6, 2011 

Success!!  I am happy to report that I've FINALLY passed the 5 lb. mark! :)  (I actually passed this mark on Monday but have just now gotten the chance to update...)  Those of you who've struggled with weight loss know it's so much more in the mind than anything else! :)  Anyway, I did the first drawing and the winner is...Faith Hope and Cherrytea!  I will be contacting you today for your address so I can send you a little something.  Thanks so much, everyone!  Keep the comments coming and hopefully we'll be doing another drawing here really soon!

My Thoughts on September 11th --- Ten Years Later

I just got home from our church service where we discussed and remembered the horrible events that took place in the US on this date 10 years ago.  I've been mulling over this post all week long---should I be as open and honest as I'd like to be?  Do my thoughts really even matter all that much?  Am I so far removed from it all that I have no respectable perspective?  This afternoon, I think I want to just take a few minutes and get my thoughts out about this day...it's been a long time coming.

I'll be honest with you, I'm the type of person who approaches things with an attitude of "deal with it and move on".  I know that sounds heartless---more than heartless---in the context of the horrific events of 9/11/2001...but stay with me for a minute.  As the last 10 years have gone by, I've found myself more and more irritated with the memorials, the remembrance events, the moments of silence, the replays, the photographs, etc. etc. etc....basically, the reminders---every. single. year...on this date.  I've been guilty of thinking, "It's over.  It was sad.  Let's move on now."  Of course, those thoughts made me feel guilty, ashamed, heartless...but they were real.

This year has been different.  I've been reading the many stories, flipping through the countless pictures, and attempting to watch videos that became very emotionally overwhelming at times, trying to give myself some perspective and see if it may have just been my own selfish immaturity that caused me to be so indifferent to past reminders of the terrorist attacks that day.

I think the bottom line is that for me, life has gone on.  It's not that I've forgotten that day 10 years ago...it's that, in the meantime, life has happened.  I've had 7 more children since then.  I've gone through the death of a baby, countless moves and several job changes, health issues---basically, I've lived and I've let life go on.

Today, I want to take a few minutes and remember.  I want to write about that day and allow myself to work through the things that I was too young to work through 10 years ago; because the truth is, that day rocked my world to some degree.  It changed my perspective, squashed my innocence and exposed my ignorance---I just didn't really realize that until now.


Though I've not really thought about it before now, I do remember where I was when I first heard the news.  Jamie and I were living in our hometown of Baker City, Oregon and our oldest daughter, Lynzie, was about 20 months old.  I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with our second child, Michael.  I was awake but not yet out of bed when the phone rang at about 6:30 am.  My mom had been watching the news early that morning and called me frantic.  She told me to turn on the news, that "it was horrible", but she couldn't really get the right words out to tell me what was happening.  By that time, here in Oregon, both planes had hit the World Trade Center buildings and our news was showing the videos over and over again.  The news people were still pretty shaken up and no one really knew what to say.  I remember my mom saying something about this being history and that our world would never be the same.

Thinking back on my initial reaction, it's hard to believe I could be so naive.  All I could think as I watched the news videos play over and over was, "how could someone do this to America?"  It wasn't the, "how could they be so cruel..." point of view; it was the "how could they be allowed to do this?"  In my 21-year-old mind, it seemed literally impossible for someone to attack America...it was as if I believed it was not allowed by some high world law.  I was so secure in my status as an American...in knowing I was "free".  Didn't "free" mean "safe"?


The attacks happened on a Tuesday.  That following Friday night, we headed to the Columbia River to camp with my dad and his wife for the weekend.  While the guys were out on the boat fishing, Theresa and I spent hours contemplating all the changes we anticipated happening now that Armageddon was upon us.  The gas prices had already begun to rise---although I'm not sure why they did or why they're still where they are.  I can remember being overwhelmed with fear that the draft would be reinstated as we prepared for World War III.  My husband, only 22 at the time, was easily draftable.  


Over the next year or so, I remember being so scared when a plane would fly overhead.  I'd either be afraid it was a terrorist or sure it was headed to fend one off.  I can remember when I was a little kid and my mom would always say, "look at the plane, kids!"  My brother and I would get so excited and we'd watch the plane until it went out of sight---imagining where it was going and what happy people were looking down on us.  It just occurred to me that I've never pointed out a plane to my kids.  Nowadays, planes = bombs in some subconscious part of me and they're not fun anymore.

Over time, that fear has worn off.  I've experienced so much more of life in the last 10 years.  I've grown into a "real mom" with pressing issues right here within these four walls.  New York and the other affected areas in the East seem so far away---I've lived my entire life within hours of the West coast.  I still don't know anyone who lost a loved one or otherwise experienced the attacks personally.  I don't drive or walk by the three areas of devastation.  For me, it's over and done with and I've moved on.


But today, as I spend this quiet time contemplating this date and what it means for so many people, I am overwhelmed by how much I am truly affected.  I'm weeping for the 3,000 children who lost at least one parent that day.  I'm hurting for the daughter of the firefighter mother I read about who died after saving countless lives that day.  I'm thinking, if it weren't for 9/11, where would these people be now?  Would I know any of them?  Would I have met them online through BookCrossing?  Would they participate in the Pink Saturday blog hop with me?  How many marriages would have taken place or children would have been born?  How would the entire course of history have changed had these almost 3,000 people lived past September 11, 2001?


In addition to that, what would our world be like?  What would the thousands of soldiers have done with their 10 years?  What direction would our nation have taken had we not had all this to deal with?


Other than my oldest daughter, none of my other children have ever lived in a USA without war.  Despite the fact that I've been relatively indifferent with my feelings about our country, I think I have some of the most patriotic kids around.  I have to attribute some of that to their experiences as kids of the 21st century---the millenium that went to war in infancy and finds itself still there a decade later.


So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I sense myself turning over a new leaf in my feelings toward America.  All this talk of remembering the date and never forgetting those we lost and those who bravely sacrificed for others has me thinking:  of course we're going to remember.  Remembering is not the problem---I think the issue is that we don't grow complacent in our remembering.  We need to actively remember the horror of 9/11 so we can make conscious decisions to live bravely and to esteem others higher than ourselves.  

I want to truly be able to say that I don't live in America, America lives in me.  Tonight I'm committed:  the next time a plane flies overhead, I'll look up and, with all the excitement I can muster, I'll say, "look at the plane kids," and we'll all wave at the happy people flying above the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Linking with:
A Return to Loveliness @ A Delightsome Life
Cottage Style Party @ Lavender Garden Cottage 
Teach Me Tuesday @ Growing Home
Tutorial Tuesdays with Hope Studios
Courtship Connection
Women Helping Women @ Teaching What Is Good 
Domestically Divine @ Far Above Rubies
(Titus 2)s Days @ Time Warp Wife
Tending the Home Tuesday
Tuesday Link Up Party 
Wisdom Wednesdays @Simply Helping Him
Winsome Wednesday @ My Daily Walk in His Grace
Whole-Hearted Home Wednesdays 
Encourage One Another @ Deep Roots at Home
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Homemaking Link Up @ Raising Homemakers
What's It Wednesday @ Ivy and Elephants 
Simple Living Wednesdays @ Our Simple Farm
Wednesday Link up at Adorned from Above
Shoe Lace Linkup @ Living In the Shoe
Home Link Up at Raising Arrows