Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Blessed at Home #7: When to Say, "No"

Welcome to Blessed At Home.  We sincerely hope our readers have been blessed by these articles. Please visit the Contributor Page to read more about this excellent ministry from some of your favorite homemaking bloggers.

Today's featured contributor is Misty from Simply Helping Him.


I'm Misty Leask: Princess of the King of Kings, Joe's Help Meet, Mother of 2 blessings, and a Texas cowgirl always. My passion is being the Help Meet God created me to be, just as He created Eve for Adam. I was placed by my husband's side, and there I will remain to help him in every way possible. Most often, you'll find me teaching my children, caring for our home, cooking/baking, gardening, or writing. 

Simply Helping Him was born as God directed my heart and hands to teach, encourage, and share what Help Meets were created to be. I know how difficult it can be to truly grasp and move forward with submission, obedience, and trusting God through it all. In "my" lil corner, I write about topics from marriage and Bible Studies, to Family Training and Family Fun Days. I'm also blessed to have several Help Meet Contributors share once a month about their passions as a Help Meet.  

Today's topic is, "When to Say, "No."  As a homemaker, do you sometimes feel drawn to things that take away from your primary ministry?

Misty, Simply Helping Him

I have a difficult time saying "no", and I always have. God must have known this, because my body can only take so much before I physically get sick. I am learning how to say "no" more, as I'm getting older--whether it be "no" to yet another activity for the kiddos, or a ministry that I'm passionate about, but can't fulfill a specific position yet. 

Sometimes too much, even of a good thing, is just too much. Our kids need down time, just as much as, if not more than, we do. Seeking God's will for every aspect, every part of our lives is key. He will not leave us, and will not allow us to be lost along our ways--as long as we are seeking Him and His direction for our lives.

Prayer and time in God's word is where we should always begin.

How can we expect to know His will for ourselves and our families if we aren't spending time with Him, seeking His guidance?

Sarah, Hope In Every Season

I used to be a people-pleaser who craved the attention and praise for a job well done.  I would be involved in as many activities and "ministries" as possible, to the point of neglecting my homemaking and homeschooling, mostly for the attention it brought me.  

As I began to grow in God and learned to really love myself and who He was making me, I realized that what I was doing was wrong.  My self-worth was no longer based on the many things I could do;  but, instead, on who I was in Christ.  

I now believe, and practice, that if anything is taking away from my responsibilities within these four walls, it is eligible for the chopping block.  I truly believe that my husband and family are my main ministries---and there's plenty here at home to keep me busy right there!  Throw in some times of refreshing for myself, and pull out a tiny bit of time for my extended family and a couple close friends, and I'm bordering overwhelmed right there!

Of course, God will send things my way now and then that He wants me to get involved in---but they're small and they're not super time consuming.  Maybe I need to take an afternoon to visit with a hurting friend or make a meal for a family who has lost their wife and mother---God still does call me outside of this home, now and then.  But, if I will take the time to really listen, I'll realize that, often times, it's my old people-pleasing nature popping up again.  It's in these times that I'll remember I'm to be a God-pleaser first!

Mrs. Smith, Just a Country Girl

There are many, many times in life when we have to say no.  As a
mother, I think we say it more than any other word!  But today I'm thinking of other times when we need to say no.

As Christians, we all have things we can't do; and most of the time, they are different for each of us.  I've known Christians who say they can't listen to country music because it mentally takes them to a place that isn't good for them.  When a true Christian says they cannot do something that sounds so normal to the rest of us, it's usually because GOD told them not to, and not because THEY don't want to.

For instance, I know there are certain types of television that I can't watch anymore.  Shows that probably most of you watch--dramas, mostly.  I can't watch them because they fill me with worry.  "What if that happens to my child?!"  This is NOT Godly.  God doesn't place fear into our minds.  And so I knew that it was time to say NO to these programs, so I wouldn't worry about my family irrationally for the rest of time!

Another big one for me was Facebook.  I can almost guarantee everyone reading this has a Facebook account.  Is that wrong?  Absolutely not. Is that wrong for ME?  Absolutely.  You see, Facebook became such a negative place for me that it was even interfering with my marriage! People weren't real on there, and they weren't my friends.  Oh, they were "friends", but they weren't friends, in the true sense.  And my husband absolutely hated it.  I knew this, but couldn't bring myself to delete my account.  I'd hear the Lord "nagging" at me, but still, I
kept on with it.  Then one day, I just realized that I NEEDED to get off of there for good!  And so I did.  And you know what?  I didn't miss it.  I didn't miss my "friends".  And my marriage improved greatly!  It was time to say no, for the sake of my marriage.

From these two examples, I can tell you that in your calling as a mother and wife, it's time to say no when you hear the Lord softly saying so.  If you don't take heed, eventually you will hear a loud
saying so!  ha!  (Perhaps your husband...hee!)  If you feel that feeling; if you are filling your mind and heart with negativity or garbage or useless information...it's probably time to say no.

For the sake of your families, I urge you to look into your lives and find that "something" that it's time to say no to.  You'll know it.  And I applaud you for taking that step.  :)


As a mom to two grown children and nine grandchildren, I try to say, "yes" as much as possible. Having said that, when should a homemaker say, "no?"

Say no to the people or activites that would take you away mentally and physically from your homemaking duties. If you are trying to please every person in your life, you will end up a very tired and unhappy woman. Saying no, sometimes, to the outside world, is actually saying yes to yourself and to your family.

Linking with:
Wisdom Wednesdays @Simply Helping Him
Winsome Wednesday @ My Daily Walk in His Grace
Whole-Hearted Home Wednesdays 
Encourage One Another @ Deep Roots at Home
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Homemaking Link Up @ Raising Homemakers
Home @ Rose Chintz Cottage  
What's It Wednesday @ Ivy and Elephants 
Simple Living Wednesdays @ Our Simple Farm
Wednesday Link up at Adorned from Above
Shoe Lace Linkup @ Living In the Shoe
Home Link Up at Raising Arrows
Homemaking Party @ Hope In Every Season
Thursday Favorite Things @ Katherine's Corner
Strut Your Stuff Thursday @ Somewhat Simple
Thriving Thursday @ Serving Joyfully
Homeacre Hop 
Tutorials, Tips and Tidbits @ Stone Gable  
Desire to Inspire @ A Royal Daughter
Think Tank Thursday @ Saving4Six 
Inspiration Friday @ Dear Creatives
Show and Tell Friday @ My Romantic Home
Beverly's Pink Saturday @ How Sweet the Sound
Farm Girl Friday @ Let This Mind Be In You
Fit & Frugal Family Friday
From the Farm
Show and Tell Saturday @ Be Different, Act Normal
Or So She Says...
Finding the Pretty & Delicious @ Your Homebased Mom
30 Min. Linkup @ 30 Days
Show Me Saturday
Teach Me Tuesday @ Growing Home
Tutorial Tuesdays with Hope Studios
Courtship Connection
Women Helping Women @ Teaching What Is Good 
Domestically Divine @ Far Above Rubies
(Titus 2)s Days @ Time Warp Wife
Tending the Home Tuesday
Tuesday Link Up Party 


  1. I so agree - when my children were young and I was caring for my elderly parents in our home, I had to learn (and it was very difficult) that all my energies had been called by God *inside the home." It was rather shocking as I'd always been involved in many areas of the church, and yes that had been my calling as a single woman for many years. Thanks to each of you for sharing on this subject.


  2. These are great things to say no to. Anything that distracts and pulls away from the things God calls us to say YES to! I appreciated reading this tonight. Always a good reminder to keep our priorities in check!


Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! I read each one of them and love to respond back to those who visit! Please consider signing up for EMAIL NOTICES so you'll have a reminder of our weekly HOMEMAKING PARTY---and more! Have a wonderful day!

Mrs. Sarah Coller

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...