Blessed at Home #8: Keeping the Peace

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Today's featured contributor is Kate at Teaching What Is Good:

I am Kate and I love to share the things God has taught me these past 36+ years of walking with Him: the old and the new. 

What I am not:

• I am not an organized and put together kind of gal, I struggle to keep our lives running…running smoothly is a luxury!
• I am not an expert on pretty much anything – I am simply a housewife who has learned many things through trial and error (mostly error) and would like to help YOU avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered in my journey.
• I am not a scholar but I DO love Jesus and get WAAAAAY too excited at times when I think about His great love for me and His grace that holds me tightly in His hands.
• I am not a SuperMom (as if she really existed anywhere anyway) – I am very aware of my limitations and have learned to function within those parameters.

I am, however, passionate about several things in my life.

I am passionate about the man I married in 1984. He is a wonderful Godly man who is very analytical, can a bit absent-minded when he’s concentrating on something, extremely intelligent and a great teacher. Kevin is the love of my life and is my greatest encouragement and support. Every day I am more blessed that he chose to marry me so many years ago.

I am passionate about my children; I have 8. I have been extremely blessed to have homeschooled all of our children from kindergarten on up, 4 of whom have graduated from high school already. Having them home with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week has enabled me to really get to know them as people, their strengths and weaknesses, their joys and desires as well as their fears and their struggles. It is my desire to be their biggest cheerleader as they seek to find and follow God’s best for their lives.

I am passionate about discipleship and older women teaching younger women. I have been discipling women for over 30 years and continue to grow and learn in my own walk with God. More often than not I grow most when I have to encourage and teach others.

Most importantly of all, I am passionate about God. My walk with Jesus has been a wonderful, albeit sometimes difficult but always challenging, adventure since 1976. He is my strength, my rock, my delight and my joy. Without Him I would be lost and adrift in a world of fear, guilt and shame. The freedom and joy He has brought me is greater than words can ever express.

Today's topic is, Keeping the Peace.

Kate, Teaching What Is Good

At heart, I am a peacemaker. Growing up, I found myself in the center of strife among siblings and often the object of one sister's irritation (I was an easy target). I would actually get physically ill because of conflict in my family and I did anything and everything I could to smooth things over and bring peace.

God has taught me many things. I've failed at many things. And, ultimately, I cannot bring peace to those without it. But then again, insight from the Lord over the years has caused me to change my view of what bringing peace really means.

Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the working toward unity.

This means that keeping the peace requires some stirring up, some conflict in order to find God's unity in the midst of it; and work to lay aside my own agenda and plans to walk into God's purpose. I am still convinced that when two believers, fully surrendered to the Lord and actively loving one another, try, they will always be able to attain the unity of the Spirit in their own relationship! God's goal for us is to live in one accord, in the unity of our faith, with a heart toward peace.

In our largish family, we have a lot of strife. My children love one another and are really great children, but with 10 different personalities, (all dealing with the flesh) the opportunities for discord are frequent! We have always sought to train our children HOW to resolve conflict and HOW to die to the flesh and walk in the Spirit, rather than just saying, "Stop quarreling!"

Do we do a perfect job? Not by a long shot---but we work toward unity. We strive to find and keep the peace. And it has taught us each a lot about humility and considering one another's needs as more important than our own. We still have a long way to go, but making our home a haven of peace is at the TOP of our priorities.

How do YOU keep the peace in your home?

Judith, WholeHearted Home

When my children were growing up, I used to plan our homeschool day at night once they were peacefully sleeping. After a full day, and especially when life in our home was hectic, I would look in on my slumbering children. There is nothing more calm than a sleeping child after a stormy day. It is the most amazing thing to observe. I'm sure you know what I mean.

God never intended for my children to stay sleeping and now those endless days are over and they are grown. When the children bickered and things got out of hand with two or three children and a baby crying too, what was I to do?! Sometimes in the middle of the storm it wasn't so easy to 'keep the peace' and I would loose my concentration. I would go brain dead and would not remember how to solve the issue.

There were two resources that I found most helpful in 'keeping the peace' while raising seven children.

Instructions in Righteousness from Pearables gives categories (pride, selfishness, etc.) and a list of Bible verses and suggestions in dealing with your child.  

The second book, Child Training Tips, has an easy reading style where a bulleted list is often used , making it quick to find a solution in the fray of the day.

Ultimately, prayer is what keeps a family glued together, but keep in mind that each child has a free will. It is his/her choice whether following the Lord Jesus Christ takes first place. God has no grandchildren and 'keeping the peace' has an eternal purpose to direct each child to Jesus.

Christy

As I get older, I realize I do not always have to be right.  Usually when I discover I am wrong, I also discover I have learned something valuable.

Keeping the peace in our relationships is not always easy.  None of us likes to give in or back down.  When we can smile and agree to disagree, I believe the Lord smiles upon us.

Jesus does not want us to be troubled or afraid.  He wants us to have the gift of peace of mind and heart.

"I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart!  And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives.  So don't be troubled or afraid." ~John 14:27

Mrs. Smith, Just a Country Girl

Keeping the peace is such a hard thing to do sometimes.  In fact, it

could just be one of the hardest things in a marriage!  A marriage--or a family, for that matter--consists of individuals that make it one whole.  Individuals who are given a mind of their own to make choices and decisions.  A mind of their own that isn't always going to agree with the other minds in that family.

So how do you keep peace when you have several different minds, thinking different things, wanting different things, etc.?  Well, there is one easy solution---put others before yourself.  A very easy

thing, yet people struggle to do it.  It is not built into us to not put ourselves first.  People are selfish creatures.  Hence the high divorce rate and unhappy children.  But if you seek this characteristic from the Lord, you shall see that you CAN keep the peace within your home, and you can teach it to your children.

I cannot tell you how many, many times I have disagreed with my husband's choices.  Here is how it goes:

I either fight him on it, "knowing" that I am right and he is wrong and my way is best.  I put my foot down, I make my voice heard, then we begin to argue.  Then the children ask what's wrong and will

everything be okay.  The house fills with turmoil, frustration, anger, bitterness and all things ungodly.  All because I wanted things to be MY way.  I disrupted the peace in the home because I was being selfish.  I wanted to be right and take the credit for good things to happen.  Only...it didn't happen that way.

Or, I can listen, understand, and try to see things from a different perspective.  I can understand that my way may not be the best way--and maybe if only for the sake of keeping the peace.  But isn't that a REALLY important thing?!  We have to "die to self".  We've all heard that term before.  You must die to self to live for Jesus.  And you must die to self to keep peace in your home.  Maybe not every single time something pops up and for every single reason.  But you can't always be right.  You can't always have your own way.  It's not really give and take.  It's just give.  Die to self.  Your children will see that their parents are happy and they live in a peaceful,

loving home.  And they will hopefully use this as a characteristic to strive for in themselves.

That is how I keep the peace in my home.

Misty, Simply Helping Him

Finding peace for me begins with my quiet time in the morning. Through the reading of God's word and prayer, my spirit is calmed and (hopefully) ready for my day. Throughout the day I am trying to learn and stop myself (and the kiddos if necessary) and pray when peace is fleeting. This year I started playing quiet classical music while the kiddos are doing their school work, and I'm finding that it helps all of us stay calm and peaceful. 

During the "summer" and "non-school" times, we have 30 minutes-1 hour each day of reading time. This gives the kiddos and I time to relax and recharge. Sometimes the kiddos get loud (LOL) and I know that it is time for them to go outside for some playtime. They like to challenge each other in racing around the house, which happens to be great for PE!

Finding peace is an all day event, whether dealing with your kiddos at home, at work, or anywhere else you find yourself in a day!

You must be intentional about seeking peace daily, hourly and sometimes by the minute!

Linking with:
Wisdom Wednesdays @Simply Helping Him
Winsome Wednesday @ My Daily Walk in His Grace
Whole-Hearted Home Wednesdays 
Encourage One Another @ Deep Roots at Home
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Homemaking Link Up @ Raising Homemakers
Simple Living Wednesdays @ Our Simple Farm
Home Link Up at Raising Arrows
Homemaking Party @ Hope In Every Season
Thursday Favorite Things @ Katherine's Corner
Thriving Thursday @ Serving Joyfully
Homeacre Hop 
Desire to Inspire @ A Royal Daughter
Think Tank Thursday @ Saving4Six 
Home Sweet Home @ The Charm of Home 
Open House @ Bernideen's Tea Time Blog 
Share Your Cup Thursday @ Have a Daily Cup of Mrs. Olson
Inspiration Friday @ Dear Creatives
Show and Tell Friday @ My Romantic Home
Family Fun Friday @ Happy and Blessed Home
Farm Girl Friday @ Let This Mind Be In You
Fit & Frugal Family Friday
From the Farm
Motivate Me Monday 
Modest Monday @ The Modest Mom 
Matrimonial Monday @ A Proverbs 31 Wife 
Better Mom Mondays
Manic Monday @ Cupcake-n-Bake
Mommy Mondays
Making Your Home Sing Monday
Teach Me Tuesday @ Growing Home
Courtship Connection
Women Helping Women @ Teaching What Is Good 
Domestically Divine @ Far Above Rubies
(Titus 2)s Days @ Time Warp Wife
Tending the Home Tuesday
Tuesday Link Up Party